A Little Hope Yet

It's confirmed. I am not hideous. Something which I questioned irrefutably this weekend (refer to this!) and the last few weekends actually.

A HOT guy asked me for my number on Sunday. It's been so long since I've actually been asked for my number, I forgot what it feels like. That feeling of "wow, you think I'm attractive?" followed by "awww, you think I'm attractive!".

A very nice boost to the ego which was in desperate need of boosting.

I know you're all going to ask whether I gave it to him or not. I haven't yet. Because. I have issues.

The Lesser of Two Evils

Marrying someone you're not in love with to escape an alcoholic parent?

or

Living with an alcoholic parent and wait to marry someone you love?

Sri Lanka's Killing Fields

Channel 4 screened this last night. At 23:05. Way past the watershed because the scenes were too distressing and some quite gruesome. For those outside of the UK – it can be watched on 4OD here.

My FB , texts, emails and Twitter were bombarded with reminders and pleas urging friends and families to watch it. To spread the word and help raise the profile of it. I did the same.

Tamils in the Diaspora are labelled as “terrorist sympathisers” because they want to see people brought to justice for the death of innocent Tamil civilians.

The short documentary shows footage from civilian recordings and from military personnel (trophy videos I call them!). I cannot even begin to explain how I felt seeing this stuff.

Let’s face it – the end of the civil war in SL was a bloody one. I mean wars usually are. And the defeat of the LTTE signifies hope and peace for the beautiful island but it was at a big cost to the civilians that were caught in the no fire safety zone.

The no fire safety zone – created by the GOSL and its military powers so that civilians leaving the north would be able to be safe. Encouraged to stay there for their own safety only to be bombarded by shelling and artillery fire. By both sides. I don’t doubt that the LTTE didn’t have some part to play in the deaths of civilians by using them not only as human shields but their own shelling in retaliation to the attack by the military forces in the “no fire safety zone” (they might even have instigated it – but without independent reporting, we’ll never know).

The report calls for an independent war crime investigation. The UN published a report in April 2011 that as many as 40000 people died in the final weeks of the civil war and the report states that Ban Ki-Moon refuses to call for an independent inquiry.
The UN is a complete and utter joke. How can it be taken seriously when it talks of war crimes in Libya but Ban-Ki Moon ignores them elsewhere? Are civilian casualties not important when they are in the third world?! Or when there is a lack of oil profits available? How disheartening is it that a human life is worth so much less than the commodity that is oil?!

Look at the similarities between Ratko Mladic, Bosnian Serb army chief and what happened in Srebrenica and what has happened in SL. Will the world need to wait an excess amount of years before someone is to answer for the deaths?

It will be said that this is LTTE propaganda and in all fairness the documentary does not present a balanced view (in my humble opinion). Both sides are to blame and both should face the consequences. But the GoSL should hand over the captured LTTE members (if in fact they are still alive) so that they can also face charges against them for war crimes.

You judge a person by the company they keep. SL allies itself with China, Russia, Iran and Israel – all countries with questionable human rights and still the UN stands by and does nothing. The worst thing is - SL gets it weapons from these countries but these countries get it from the USA/UK. It's a joke!

I don’t live in SL. I never have. I will never know what it’s like to experience being a Tamil in SL first hand. Nor will I never know what it is like questioning whether I would have able to board a bus safely in the Colombo without fearing for my life. So my writings here are a reflection of what I have seen, heard and do know.

What I do know is that it is not our place to take peoples’ lives.

It’s not a question of LTTE vs. GoSL. It’s not a question of Tamils vs. Sinhalese. It’s a question of how were tens of thousands of innocent Tamil civilians were allowed to die and nobody did anything to stop it. And now nobody is doing anything to question it.

Too Much?

For me, this blog offers an outlet. Blogging allows me to express myself.


But reading back on some of my posts - I wonder if I should have wrote what I did. Cathartic as it is, it only seems to remind me of how I felt. Opening up old wounds. Reminding me of how things were. Questioning how things could have been.


Am I doing the right thing by putting it all out here? Or should I have not wrote anything at all? Could it be that if there's no evidence of it, then the memories will be easier to forget?

More importantly - do I want to forget?

HELP!

I know this is mega late but I have only just realised how I should have utilised this blog!

B's hen night is tomorrow and I've got the majority share of organising stuff. To be fair though - everyone has really helped out and it looks like it will be carnage a great weekend.


However, I need some dares/challenges/forfeits. I've got a few but need more. Can I have some suggestions please? Not too extreme but a lil'!

Some ideas (to give you something to compare yours to!):

· Persuade a stranger to buy you a drink
· Get the phone number of a man whose name begins with a vowel
· Every time you hear a Lady Gaga song, you have to do 10 seconds of the running man (I’ll put some Lady Gaga songs on my phone!)
· Approach a stranger of either sex and pretend that you’ve known them for years.
· Sing Chesney Hawke’s “I am the one and only” in a bar
· Get a bald guy to give you a hug
· Get a picture of you and a guy with a tattoo
· Stand outside a shop window looking in and perform 5 star jumps.
· Act out which animal you’d like to be if you were reincarnated
· Gargle the wedding march
· Find three names and numbers for new volunteers to be in the bridal party
· Approach someone else's table and offer to belly dance for them

Thank you! (in advance!)

Betty

Betty is now fixed. I cannot begin to tell you how please I am to have her back!

On a side note - for someone who wears her heart on her sleeve and is bare emotional, why is it I find it so hard to tell people how I'm feeling?!

Tears to my Eyes

This story.

Bloody Hell!!

Is this true?!

Forgive me for my ignorance but what does this mean for the people of SL?

And this is a serious question - but what incentives were there to vote for him?

Vivid

Dreams. How many of us have them? Or more to the point; how many of us actually remember having them?

I am not a big dreamer. In fact I hardly think I have dreams (or I do but I don't remember them!) and when I do dream, I wake up thinking I need to tell somebody but in all honesty forget it within about 3 minutes!

But this morning I had a dream which was quite vivid and it really disturbed me.

For some strange reason, I was at a parade maybe. To begin with I was with friends and we were walking down a leafy path and it was dark - the street lights were switched on so it clearly was late in the evening. I remember seeing a girl I used to be friends with and her (now) husband but she was in traditional wedding attire as was he. I remember walking over to them (thinking "WTF?!") and asking if they were going to have the ceremony later on that evening. And she replied that they were getting married straight after the parade. At that point, her bridesmaids came over (people that I really don't talk to!) and I made polite conversation before excusing myself to catch up with my friends.

At this point, even my dream went into slow motion - you know when you're watching it all happening thinking "WTF?!". One of the bridesmaids grabbed me just as I was about to walk away and pulled me away from a guy who was approaching me (us) and said to me - "Stay away from him - he's trouble!". I have no idea who the guy was but I recognised him in the dream as someone who I've seen out at random Lankan parties.

Next thing I know, the scene gets all fast and furious-ey on me. A bunch of people run past us clearly chasing a skinny young boy. And then the parade kinda turns into this mass hooligan group some of who are jeering at the chasing group to "Get him. Get him" which I can only assume relates to the boy. Myself, I forage my way to the front of the mass of the hooligan group as I'm screaming "leave him!". What I was planning to do, I have no idea! Would I have thrown myself between the boy and the chasing group? Seriously?!

But I get to the front of the crowd and I see that there is a body on fire on the floor rolling around screaming.

And then my alarm went off! It's disturbed me so much and I really don't know why! Compared to this dream which seems peachy in comparison!

SERIOUSLY?!

Seriously.

Why do you feel the need to wait until the traffic light has turned green, remained green for 3 seconds before you decide that you should probably put your car into gear, release the handbrake and check your mirrors before you make any movement? By which point the traffic light has turned to red again and yours has been the only car to move?!

WHY you stupid ass in front of me?!

Screening

Just exactly how are they doing it at Menik Farm?*


*Serious question I swear...

Can You Blame Them?!

Following the recent events in SL, the Tamil Diaspora have been labelled a lot of things and many have been unsympathetic towards the actions of the GoSL but what do they expect when they do this?

It is said that actions speak louder than words and despite the cargo of the ship having been confirmed, yet by turning back this aid, what message are the GoSL sending to the Tamil Diaspora or indeed the Tamils that require this aid in the IDP camps?

Every day I see campaign after campaign from aid agencies asking for donations to help solve the humanitarian crisis in Sri Lanka. Surely every little bit should help?!

I understand that the maybe the correct measures were not taken in order to receive the vessel but surely any and all the help should be accepted and embraced? That is, if their primary concern is for the safety of those in the IDP camps.....

Chicken Pieces

Which do you prefer?

Breast?

Thighs?

Legs?

Ass?

Surely you know what kind of chicken pieces I mean by now?!

And I'm not just asking the males.....

I'm always usually jealous of a chicken's legs coz I hate mine!

*And is it so wrong that I love reading the Padashow?! (And no doubt I will now get pwned by it!)

Hope

I've had five days without the internet. At a time when all was crucial in SL and I needed to get my dose of my regular blogs and news feeds - I was screwed. But it's not so bad. I've managed to have a quick catch up.

And so it's the end of the war. And everyone is harping on about a united SL and equal rights for everyone in SL and the fall of the LTTE. And this is good news. It really is. There is nothing I want more than to be able to visit the home of my parents and grandparents and know that I am welcome there. That I won't be seen as a member of the Tamil Diaspora highly generalised as a supporter of the LTTE.

I have always loved visiting SL. Though there has never been a time when I could just book a flight and not think about the implications of travelling there. "Can I visit Jaffna?", "Will it be safe?", "What will happen if I'm stopped by the police?" amongst so many others. Now that time is over.

Obviously I have doubts. For a government who claimed that the leader of the LTTE was shot, than have his body so badly burnt in an escaping ambulance that was blown up so that it was unidentifiable to then being shot again - seriously?! Maybe with your eagerness to show the world was over, you have shot yourselves in the foot of your own accord!

It will be a long time before the wounds heal. And definitely not without leaving scars but I have so much hope for the future of SL. That's all one can have.

Hot or Not?!

Which adjective do you best prefer to describe aesthetics?

I was having (clearly a deep and meaningful!) conversation with a friend (male) last night about the female population and looks and then progressed onto the male population and looks.

Ladies: Do you prefer being called hot/sexy/beautiful/pretty or any other adjective that describes your looks favourably?

Gents, your turn: Hot/handsome/sexy/rugged/beautiful or whatever else suits your fancy?

I only ask because he said that hot girls are girls that you can't take home to meet your mother (think Kim Kardashian) and beautiful/pretty girls are the ones you can (Jessica Alba was the example we used)!

So basically the hot girls are the "dirty" girls?! Or are they......?!

An Individual Diaspora View

This is just the way I feel and constructive comments/criticism welcome. Apologies in advance for any offence that I may cause. *

I am who I am. I know that I have not had to live through what those directly in Sri Lanka have had to and continue to do so daily.

I’ve read various different articles/comments/blog posts that label the Tamil Diaspora (TD) as supporters of “terrorists”. Though I know that people are aware that the whole of the TD are not like that, it doesn't change the stigma or some of the sweeping statements.

RD questions whether you can want Tamil Eelam without being a terrorist. Personally – I think so. Not so much Tamil Eelam but a desire to have somewhere that you can call home without the threat of being victimised. You don’t have to support the “terrorists” in order to have a feeling of being safe.

I’ve always supported the cause. The cause (for me) being equal rights for Tamils. Not just for those living in the comforts of the South but for all Tamils on the Island. I don’t believe that it is fair to ask for a separate state in the fashion that it is being asked for. How are they any better than the government that they claim discriminates against them? Isn’t that what they themselves are doing? And I’ve never supported the methods.

I’ve been attending the protests at Parliament Square. Not to support the LTTE but nor to label them as terrorists. I can only condemn all those who are involved in the killing of those that are pawns in this long term civil war.

I know the chants. Changing everyday. I know which ones I chant to. The ones about saving the innocent civilians. Though the voices are not as strong as when the chants are proclaiming who their leader is. Standing defiantly as these chants ring loudly around the square. It infuriates me. How can you expect to be taken seriously when you are waving flags and cheering for those who are not respected (maybe respect isn’t the best word to use) by the world?

He’s certainly not my leader. How can someone who proclaims to want the best for the Tamil people let so many innocent civilian lives be slain in vain? I don’t think the government is any better. Believe me – I’m not advocating for either side. By supporting either – are you just supporting the lesser of two evils?

Before these protests that have been taking over the entire place, what was being done to highlight the plight of these civilians? Were there as many stories roaming around the internet or were they being swept under the carpet? Can you be so sure that despite many of the protestors supporting the Tamil Tigers, without them, the plight of all those caught in the no fire safe zone would have been highlighted to those less fortunate to be in the know? I’ve had to respond to many colleagues/neighbours even friends who’ve asked me why the protests are happening. People who are usually so in tune with civil wars in Rwanda/Sudan/Somalia or that of the situation in the Middle East but who have no clue on what is happening in SL.

But we must remember that history is something that has happened. There has been a time when being Tamil has meant being treated differently. And at that time it was Tamil “terrorist” organisations that shouted the loudest allowing voices to be heard. The majority of the Diaspora left SL when these “terrorist” organisations were at their most influential. They’d left when these organisations were vying for a better future for them. For many members of the Diaspora, these “terrorists” did in fact carry their voices. This is the memory for a lot of them.

Indeed these “terrorist” organisations are not the sole representative for all Tamils but they are the main representative for a majority of Tamils. Sure they may have lost some of their vision along the way and I'm not saying that they aren't guilty of harming the ones they claim so hard to protect either BUT without them and their actions, who would hear the cries of Tamils?


*Disclaimer: There are probably a hell of a lot of contradicting views in this and it's a bit of a haphazard post. I’m not advocating anything apart from the obvious peace and end of war. I just want for all those who are suffering unjustly to be given a solution as soon as possible. Nor am I even halfway clued up to write about the situation. But this is just something that I wanted to share despite not being sure whether to publish or not. Oh well. :)

Spare A Thought....

Dear SL Blogosphere,

Compared to many of you - I am a newbie (in my humble opinion) and not a very goodie. Due to time constraints, I don't read as many blogs as I used to or even my regular visited blogs as often as I'd like to. Hell - I barely get time to comment!

But can you please spare a thought to the non Sinhala speaking readers and offer an English translation to the funny/pivotal points in your posts?

If I ask for too much, I apologise in advance.

Kind regards,

Scrumpy.

Where I Am Going...

To Hell! For my thoughts!*

Because how can that girl have a fiancé and I don't?! She's rotund, short and has an OK face. Her personality isn't that sparkling and sure, she's a nice person but how can she have one and I don't?!

And why do most of the guys (I want to notice me) not notice me?!

Yeah, Hell awaits me. If only because I'm coveting what I don't have!



*Disclaimer: I'm just feeling sorry for myself and will get over it! I don't mean to offend anybody!

Is It So Wrong?

When you find someone attractive but you don't know what they look like?

When you haven't spoken to them?

When they have no idea you exist?

But there's something about the way they write, their style of blogging - indeed their blogs themselves that just make them seem so attractive that you're compelled to want to email them in a bid to get to know them better?!

Yeah, that just about sums me up - completely and utterly mental!

I Am Curious

What is the acceptable time span to keep wishing people "A Happy New Year"?

As in, at what time does it become unacceptable? Can I wish someone when they get back from holiday at the end of January? Is it too late then?

Another extraordinary musing courtesy of Scrumpy! First proper day back at work and the clogs have been grinding away!