I'll Be Back

This time tomorrow I will be on a flight to Kuala Lumpur for 4 nights followed by 16 nights in and around Sydney.



WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Geographical Nonsense!

The above video came on the TV the other day as my siblings and I were watching one of those famous music channels. We do like The Wanted - especially since there is one guy who's half Tamil (helps that he's easy on the eye as well!).

Brother: "Best thing to come out of Ireland since Westlife".

Me: "Are they all Irish then?"

Brother: "YES!"

Me: *quick Google search on my phone (because I Google everything!)*
"Erm.. they're not all Irish".

And then I read him this.

Clearly we're very ignorant! :)

But it did make me smile. Especially at how sure sounding he was!

The 'Dam

Some people know think that I am musically challenged. I’m also very unlucky at scoring tickets to concerts I want to see.

So when Take That (complete with Robbie Williams!) announced their tour dates and I found out I would be in Germany at the time they went on sale, I knew I had no hope but was optimistic nonetheless. Leaving strict instructions with my siblings to endeavour to get some, I thought this would be my time. But no. It wasn’t.

So when their European tickets went on sale, I said I was getting some and that would be that! And I did. I managed to secure 3 tickets to their concert in Amsterdam at Amstel Arena (Ajax’s football stadium which was enough in itself to excite me!). And then Take That went and announced more tour dates in Britain – my luck is so bad it’s not worth talking about.

However, Amsterdam 2011 was planned and I have just returned from what was an amazing trip (no illegal substances pun intended). There was a little scare when I heard this but thankfully Monday night RW stepped onto the stage and pretty much smashed the ball out of the park vocally.

TT were incredible. The show production was amazing and the atmosphere inside the venue was electric. There are no words that can do it justice.

But it wasn’t just the show. It was the fact that I spent 4 days with my siblings enjoying stupid jokes, eating crappy food, relishing the crap weather and watching Outsourced (which you must watch – I love Gupta!).

I will post some photos (not that I took many) but just a quick post to explain for the absence.

Coming back to work to a shitload of emails is the worst thing about going on holiday though!

25 Days in 2011

No not a new film.#

25 days annual leave a year is just not enough. :(

14 - 18 July: Amsterdam to see Take That perform!

02 - 24 September: Sydney, Australia via Kuala Lumpar, Malaysia (4 nights).

Total number of days taken: 20. :( And that's not even thinking about all the ad hoc holidays I'll need!

(I've already started scoping out where the best places to party are but all suggestions are welcome!)

Siblings & Food

Unmeasurable sibling love is leaving the biggest piece of chocolate cake lamb chop for you because you've been stuck in traffic for three hours.

Hurt

It’s been a week now since I found out. And for the first four days, I was an emotional wreck. Bursting into tears at any given moment. It wasn’t pretty. I didn’t tell anyone for the first two days apart from those that read the blog. Telling them made it real. But then I realised that I couldn’t do it on my own. So I told my siblings. My brother first seeing as he was around. God, that was hard. My siblings have always liked you. I wasn’t able to stop the tears. And then my sister, later on that night once she was around. My sister (being the feisty girl she is), did not mince her words. I think sometimes you need tough love to help you come to term with things. She called you all kinds of names. It didn’t ease the hurt any less but I knew I was loved. Not the love that is offered from a companion but unconditional love from my family. And yet it still hurt and the tears kept coming. The worst was trying not to let Amma see me cry. That night, after I told my siblings, my sister went to work and I remember my brother giving me the biggest hug whilst I cried on his shoulder. And still it hurt.

Amma knows now as well, I think she would have like to have seen us end up together but it’s enough with just my humiliation. I don’t want her to say anything to you and be humiliated also. There’s nothing like a hug from your mum when you’re heartbroken to comfort. And still it hurt.

The weekend came and with nothing to do but wallow, I tried to keep the tears at bay. I wanted to call you. I needed to call you. My brother didn’t leave me alone the whole day. It was almost like I was on suicide watch (no offence). The tears flowed every now and then and I was an emotional wreck. I think what I’ll miss is the fact that I will have no one to call when the AP goes into extreme mode. No one else I know that can relate or talk to about it without judgement. But I will find someone. So you called me on Saturday. To gloat? Most probably not. And I answered. I didn’t cry. I tried again to understand your reasoning. I don’t want a wedding invitation of that I am sure. The goodbye was abrupt. Your battery died before I had a chance to make that complete closure but the intention on my part was clear. And with the feeling of a weight starting to lift, it still hurt but a little less.

Both A and B know now as well. B has never liked you. Thought you were never good enough for me. Couldn’t understand what I saw in you.
A on the other hand wanted us to have a fairytale ending. We were his very own Ross and Rachel. He can’t see why you’ve made this decision. To be fair, I’m not sure anyone can apart from yourself. But you have. And he thinks you’ve “flopped”, which are comforting words to hear on my part. Despite their supporting words, it still hurt. But again, a little bit less.

I have been a right saddo and Googled “inspiration quotes to get over heartbreak” (you can laugh at me), but I have read some words that have made me feel better. I’ve read articles on how to get over it. To let go. And I’ve made a list. The one that these articles tell you to make. It’s what Ross did with Rachel and Julie. I can’t say that it fared well for you.
But let’s face it, compared to what some people are going through in the world, what I'm going through pales in comparison. And with that perspective, it’s hurts that little bit less.

The items associated with memories are slowly being discarded. Some in the bin and some will be given back to you. Some I’ll keep because they’ll remind me that I’ve loved wholeheartedly. And it hurts. And it will continue to hurt but in time, it’ll get easier. I truly believe that. I have to believe that. Because if I don’t, I wouldn’t be me. And being me is more important than believing in what could have been.

To all of you – I can’t thank you enough for the comments that you have left me. Seriously. I know I am emotional (overly sometimes), but your words have been an immense help and by reading them (repeatedly!), it comforts me that there are people whom I’ve never met that are so kind. Thank you.

How Young

I don’t write about my sister much. In fact, I always group my siblings together and my brother gets mentioned more so than she does. The only reason is because he does more than she does.

My sister is a quiet soul. She’s calm and she doesn’t share too much. She’s a bit different to both me and my brother and would probably rather stay in as opposed to a night out (I’m the opposite most of the time).

My brother is in Canada at the moment with my dad. A holiday of convenience to get my dad out of the way so that we can redecorate our living room (and that saga will follow later!). It’s been tough – my sister and I definitely not cut out for manual labour! We’ve managed to strip the walls of wallpaper, get the plastering sorted (someone else did this!) and start painting.

Yesterday as me and my sister were painting, she opened up to me. I remember when she was 16, I found out she had a boyfriend. I went mad. Seriously. The role of the bigger sister has not shone as brightly as did that day. 16 is too young right? And he was 3 years older than her. It just wasn’t the done thing. I remember there were tantrums. My brother knew about it kinda. My parents were completely confused as to why none of us were talking to each other. I remember telling her that she I wouldn’t accept it. I remember her telling me that she’d always choose her family over him. And that she was sorry. There’d be nothing more about this “relationship”. He – a family friend who I’ve known just as long as my sister – someone whom to this day, I love dearly. So what was the problem? I really do believe she was too young.

Fast forward 8 years. They are still in each other’s lives. In fact – he is as much of our family as could be. But they have never pursued where they left off. Mainly because our family has so many issues with him. But now, my sister has grown up. Today is her 24th birthday. My beautiful baby sister. And whilst we were painting yesterday she spoke of how she feels about him. How he feels about her and what path she could take. The fact that we can share such things over such random activities brings smiles and tears – happy emotional tears.

And to me, that is what makes what we have special.

To my beautiful baby sister – Happy Birthday my fatty!

x

Dependents

Certain forms that you may fill out may ask you about dependents. I guess for most people, they're asking about children.

I don't have any children but sometimes I think of my relationship with my siblings. I know that in most instances I do mother them. I don't think I can help it. I'm the eldest and I have always been and will be protective of them.

Today I did something stupid. One of my siblings told me something and I gave the complete wrong response and was quite selfish about it. I feel horrible. I've apologised and I know that it's nothing that is major. My siblings and I fight one moment and will be back to normal within a few minutes but I feel awful. I've just sat there with them as they fell asleep. And I watched them for a lil' while. And I kept thinking, how could I be such a bitch to upset them?

This is a crap post which makes absolutely no sense but I feel like shit.

Arrivals

My brother is back. Yay! :)


Airports are funny places. My heart is worn so openly on my sleeve that it will come as no surprise that I don't deal with departures well. But it surprised even me when I felt myself getting emotional over arrivals.

Terminal 5 at Heathrow is amazing. It's so big and spacious and is a testament to...... big and spacious things!

As I stood there waiting for my brother, I watched the people surrounding me. Those that had constructed "Welcome Home" placards for their loved ones, the parents eagerly awaiting the return of their well travelled child, the husbands awaiting their wives amongst so many others.

But what brought a tear to my eye was when I saw a child run up to his mother as she walked out of the arrival doors. As she swept him up in her arms, it made me feel all warm inside. So much so that I actually welled up! Maybe I'm getting broody (Eeeeek!).

The worst part was when I realised that I was wearing my heart a lil' too openly on my sleeve and I had to mentally will myself to not cry when my brother arrived!

Arrivals really is quite emotional. More so than departures I think!

Absence Heart Fonder

They say that absence makes the heart fonder. They also say that out of sight, out of mind.

Very contradictory if you ask me. I guess it applies to the individual in question.

Why am I rambling you ask?

Because my brother went to San Francisco this morning as part of his geography field trip (I clearly did the wrong degree!) and I miss him already. He's only been gone 12 hours!

God I'm so lame!

Not So Musically Challenged.

I have just booked tickets for WWE RAW April 2010 baby!! It's going to be awesome!



(I have such lil' money though!)

Disbelief!

My parents have been looking for a groom for me. That's fine. I can deal with that. I mean, what do I have to lose right? Besides, it's whichever one comes first and right now - the suitors lining up my door (all two of them) are not really prospective grooms. So I'm letting Amma and Appa (but mainly Amma!) do what they need to do. And also, arranged marriage is different to forced marriage. The way I see it is - it's the same sort of thing as my friend's trying to set me up!

Anyways - things have started rolling now. My Amma being the non social butterfly and not knowing anybody (the benefits being no one can gossip back to her about my antics, the drawbacks being what will follow!) has resorted to some crazy tactics about letting the world know that she has a single eligible daughter ready to be carted off. I'm too scared now to answer the house phone for fear of talking to somebody who's the parent of a potential groom, she keeps pestering my siblings to open up a profile for me on all matrimonial sites from here to Timbuktu and last but not least she has advertised in the matrimonial column of a Tamil newspaper! Stop laughing - it's really not funny!

And recently, my siblings have had to set up an email account for her to deal with the influx (OK - who am I kidding?! The few!) emails. My siblings were telling me about a potential boy they'd found. My mum had been conversing with his parents and they seemed to like each other. Photos were exchanged. This is the scary part. Not being the most confident of people - I am surprised if someone finds me attractive. Yeah, I get by but not amongst my own if that makes sense.

Having not had the Internet for a few days, I didn't the picture of the groom until yesterday. (Let me quickly tell you another story kind of related. My parents had previously tried this about three years ago. And the description of the photo of the guy as my siblings put it: "He looks like a professor!". There is nothing wrong with that at all but being faced with that statement and that photo (he had a tweed jacket on with elbow pads) in your early 20s kinda makes you say no. I'm not shallow but he wasn't my type!)
I kept asking my siblings if he was better or worse than the professor (who had become our reference point it seemed!) and they wouldn't comment.
Opening the photo, I was met with a LARGE guy. Now I'm not stick thin (if only!) but this guy was large. My initial reaction was "He's large. Tall and nice enough looking but large" (Obviously in my head). I could feel my siblings watching my as I took in the photo.
"So?" says my sister.
"So?" says I.
"What are you going to do?" asks my brother.
"I'll talk to him and see what he's like" I reply.

And in slow motion I see my brother turn around and face me with his jaw wide open and ask "WHAT?!". He didn't seem to be able to believe that I'd even said that!! And so I clarified for him again.
To which he replied "Just tell them you're not interested. Amma and Appa have already decided anyways!".
I'm still trying to get them to at least let me talk to him - what do I have to lose?!

And that is how it's going so far!

The Simple Things

It was a long weekend here this weekend. Don't you just love it when you get an extra day of laying in for no apparent reason?!

I feel asleep on the sofa late Sunday afternoon (clearly doing nothing exhausts me!). I could hear my siblings chattering in the background - making fun of me for falling asleep in 10 minutes (it's a talent of mine!). Clearly not a deep sleep but it was so nice to just close my eyes.

I remember my parents "Awww" ing over me. Me mumbling something about my feet being cold and my father covering me with the sleeping bag.

I remember my mum telling me to go and sleep in my bed. She always worries that I'll get some crick in my neck that I'll never get rid off making it even harder for her to marry me off (well she never said that but you know...!)!

And I remember my sister kissing me on my cheek repetitively and encouraging my brother to do it as well. Both of them laughing at my semi state of consciousness and kissing either cheek. I think they were willing me to wake up in a bid to entertain them.

It is the very simple things that make me smile and as I sit here and type; I can't help but do just that.

Happy Monday People! :)

Scrumpy's Antics

I'm still relatively new at my job so it's a constant learning process (my line manager loves to hear that!). It also means that I'm constantly meeting and being introduced to a bunch of people whose names I am never likely to remember.
Obviously we all have ID cards and the majority of people tend to wear them around their neck so it's usually hanging around the navel area. I'm one of these people.

Today, I was standing around doing what I do best (nothing) when a member of staff who I've yet to meet/work with (X) came up to me.
She pointed at my navel area so thinking that she wanted to know my name, I enthusiastically flashed my card saying my name. X shook her head at me and mumbled something at me. Oh, she didn't want to know my name. Fair enough. I assumed she wanted to get to the drawers behind me so I moved out of her way. Again, she shakes her head and still mumbles.
Erm.. look of confusion starting to register on my face - do I have something on my top? Looking down, I see that I don't so I say "I'm sorry?".
"Your zip!" she mentions far louder than the mumbling she had earlier exhibited!
How embarrassed was I?!

The other incident which wasn't nearly as embarrassing. I leave my house about 7:45 to get to work. I live in a quiet cul-de-sac and because of the recent Arctic like temperatures that Britain has been experiencing, I'm careful about my footing. Tuesday morning was particularly icy.

As I walk out, I see a man walking/slightly limping across my road. Just as I'm about to put in my earphones, I hear a thud. I turn around to see the man on the floor. So being me, I ask him if he's OK. He says he'll be fine but he didn't seem to be able to pull himself up. I asked him again because at this point he was dragging himself across the (albeit small) gap on the pavement to the nearest garden pillar.

As I watched him try to drag himself up, I could see he was struggling so I asked him if he was OK. By this point, I could see that his legs weren't that strong - something of a dead leg as such which blindly explained the limping so I asked him if I could try to pull him up. Holding both his hands, I tried to pull him up but I couldn't. We tried again with him using the post for leverage but I just couldn't get him off the floor.

He was starting to get a bit worried about how he was going to get up so I told him to hang on - I'd just quickly run back home and get my brother who'd come and help us. Waking up my sibling who hasn't got anything to do at the moment because he's off university at that Godforsaken hour wasn't about to go down to well until I quickly stammered out I needed his help. Along he came and lifted the guy up from behind with not that much effort - bless his heart!

It's the little things that make you smile.

Last Post

Of the day!

Quick update:

Sister graduated - yay! Had job interview today and has a second interview tomorrow - more yay!

I saw Michael McIntyre live on Friday night (you tube him - you won't be disappointed. I am being lazy so will put up the link over the weekend!). He was amazing. So funny and such good clean humour! Love it!

And last but not least - New York in 2 weeks! Woooooo!! *does Chandler-esque dance*

Sorry for the bombardment of posts!

Oui/Si/Yes

I'm going away again. Nowhere new but still another trip.

I'm off to New York in December for 6 days with my siblings. Taking advantage of the BA sale - that's me! You got to get it where you can right?

I love New York. It's one of my most favourite places that I've been to. I know it's a big city that multicultural which doesn't make it all that dissimilar to London but there are differences. The fact that I can step onto the street at 4:00 and still find yellow cabs buzzing all around, it's the home of Friends and Ugly Betty, the sights - The Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty and Ground Zero to name but a few and last but by no means least - the accents!

I am a sucker for nice accents. A few that do it for me (and believe me they do!):

• New York(an)
• Chicago(an)
• Toronto(an)
• French - oh dear Lord!
• Spanish
• Welsh

Couple any of these with a tall, dark(or fair), handsome man with manners and a beautiful voice - well I'm pretty much smitten!

Know anyone like that?

Not A Witty Title For A Post But Meh - Who Cares?!

I'm leaving work soon so quickly:

• I got a new job - yay!
• I partied hard on the weekend.
• I danced in the rain yesterday with my siblings.
• As a result of the above, I now have a cold (but so worth it!).
• I think I've met someone new and you know when all those texts and phone calls leave you with a massive smile on your face - yeah, I have one of those!
• I'm thankful for my friends - for caring.
• I have nothing interesting to write about!

Memories Are

• Star gazing on a roof top terrace in Cuba and seeing shooting stars.
• Playing Macgyver in my aunt's back garden and crawling through the hole in the fence - times when getting covered in dirt didn't matter!
• My brother and sister thinking that flashing lights from oncoming vehicles in Nuwera Eliya (in the mountains) were strikes of lightning!
• Late night phone calls to that someone special.
• Getting ready with the girls for a night out.
• Building the shed with Appa.
• Family barbecues.
• Sandwiched between Amma and Chithy on a trans-Atlantic flight.
• Laughing at random Tamil films.
• All 5 friends in one car getting road rage.
• Driving around a roundabout the wrong way in a foreign country.
• Water fights at the height of Summer randomly in parks/streets!
• Bouncy castles at Winter balls.
• Backstreet Boys concerts.
• Getting a foot massage in a cab (not from the driver!) after a night out.
• Walking in the rain.
• Reaching my 50th post!

Bondage with Beds

It's amazing what people bond over isn't it?

Parents bond with their children. For mothers and daughters, it may be a shopping trip or over a cup of coffee (or tea - let's not forget that we are Sri Lankan!). For fathers and sons - a love of sports or maybe over some DIY. For friends, we bond over boys/girls/clothes/shoes/films/books/sex - with some friends there are no boundaries! With your respective other half - again - sometimes there are no boundaries.

With your siblings - as you get older, you bond over memories, alcohol, food and maybe similar stuff as with your friends (though maybe not the sex bit - some things are better left unsaid!).

With my siblings - we bonded yesterday over the construction of a bed. My brother is in the process of redecorating the room. He bought a metal bunk bed. I would try and explain it but I'd do such a rubbish job that I've provided the link.

So we decided to put it together yesterday. The three of us (with some bossing around from my dad!) following the instructions and all in all doing an alright job! We worked for about 4 hours (I'm sure it wouldn't have taken this long for a professional!), we didn't even think about dinner (big deal for us!), and we bonded. We laughed about memories of our childhood bunk bed and that in turn lead to other childhood memories. My brother has a knack of bringing up my incredulous moments of stupidity and then they both laugh at me! I think at one point we were laughing so hard that the structure of the bed nearly it's support from us! Not all of it was laughs and smiles though. Men in general are bossy and SL men even more so. My brother did get annoyed at the laughter sometimes - more so when it was at his expense (totally worth it nonetheless!).

And so to my siblings - for being there for me always, for helping me laugh at my stupidity, for helping me correct my mistakes, for keeping my secrets, for supporting me when I argue with appa, for helping me with household chores, for making fun of me when I cry at everything, for listening to go on about my crush(es), for lending me money and for so much more that is yet to come!

Thank you for allowing me to be me. I love you.


*Disclaimer* - I'm so sorry for the randomness of this post!

Fatty.

"You're such a fatty!".

"Goodnight fatty".

"Love you my fatty".

Fatty is not a derogatory term in our house - not even in our family to be honest with you. I don't know when we made the transition from using "fatty" as an insult into one filled with love, endearment and affection.

And this doesn't mean that we're fat. Far from it. We use it on anyone who deserves it - regardless of shape and size which clearly shows that we're not discriminating!

It's become such a frequently used word that my friends have also been on the receiving end of it a few times.
I remember how it panned out a few times, that awkward silence on my part for having let it slipped out, the indignant silence on their part for me to retract the statement (which doesn't happen) and then the feeling of being included once I explain the meaning behind the word.

Calling my friends "fatty" now usually incites a reaction along the lines of "Awwwww - you called me fatty, you love me!". Anyone who'd be listening on our conversations would be slightly surprised to say the least.

Oh well, happy reading my fatties! :)