Musically Challenged

You know that there are some songs that are great to get jiggy to?


I've just listened to an entire album's worth!

Long Weekends - Time to Think

I love it when we get a public holiday. Unfortunately, we're not as lucky as some to have Poya days every month!

Reading 69's post made me reminisce about sex (and how long it has been since I've had any!).

I was 19 when I first had sex. I'd met this guy (S) through a friend and we got to know each other over 6 months before I came to the conclusion that maybe I could trust him and that he wouldn't break my heart. I was young and naïve and clearly overwhelmed that somebody could be interested in me!

It's difficult to determine at which point a couple go from "getting to knowing each other" to actually "becoming a couple". I mean, when I was younger (more so than I already am!), it was simple. A simple "will you go out with me?" would suffice and you'd either become one half of the newest couple in your circle of friends or you'd have a bruised ego for a while.

So, I don't know at which point we exactly became a couple but we did. I'd heard all the stories and read all the teenage girly magazines that said you shouldn't be pressured into having sex, that you should wait until you're really ready and all that other "advice".

I remember it so well. Maybe because it was my first relationship. My first real boyfriend. Someone who wanted to be with me because of who I am - not what I could give them or how quickly they could get into my pants! The honeymoon period - where whatever you say doesn't fall on deaf ears, where kissing is still not underrated, where holding hands is appreciated because any kind of body contact still manages to send your libido into overdrive(!) and where those late night phone calls can last until the early hours of the morning. Even when you sleep for only 3 hours and they're still the first person you call!

We'd been together officially for about a month before I decided that I wanted to sleep with him. I think that I already knew I wanted to, but the logistics of it all (when, where and ultimately how?!) were what had me a lil' worried.
A few weeks later, it was his birthday and so we decided to spend the night together. He never pressured me into anything which is why I think I felt all the more comfortable. I'm not going to sit here and type all the details of it. There isn't any need for it. But I remember it so well. And I remember how he made me a cup of tea when we woke up and how he looked after me. How he made me feel - wanted, desired, loved, safe and so much more!

We were together for 2 years officially and about 3 years on and off after that and unofficially. We stopped talking about two months ago and it's a lot tougher than I thought it would be - especially when I have time to think about things like the above!

With A Side Dish of Sex Please?

There's been a little bit of debate whether mentioning the word "sex" in your title increases the number of hits that your blog receives here, here and here (read the comments as well!).
As Mr Selvarajah says sex definitely sells but what about all those people who clearly were hoping for something that little bit juicy? You know - some erotic tales. I mean, how disappointed would they be? But then I realised that many of these blogs that I've been reading are from those who are of Sri Lankan origin. Now I know a fair few of Sri Lankan people and I can firmly say that we're not exactly the most prudish of people but are we ready to discuss sex so openly on the Lankan blogosphere?

So, with the illusion that I'm still anonymous, let's talk about sex (but I'm not going to recall my experiences - I'm still a lady!)!

I haven't had sex for a long time! I'm one of these people that truly believe that you can only have sex (make love) with someone that you have some kinda serious feelings for. For example - your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, hubby, long term partner (I really don't like using the word partner but in times of everyone wanting to be PC, I might as well!) or friends with benefits.
For a long time, S was my friend with benefits and boooooy, were they good benefits! It worked because there was no awkwardness between us. We parted officially on relatively good terms, and it seemed inevitable that we would end up in bed together whenever we were in each other's company. And because it wasn't frequent, it was good.

And the act doesn't have to be physical in order for it to constitute as sex. With all the advances in technology - I'm sure more than most have had cyber sex, phone sex or even text sex!

In reference to the title - we should learn to talk about sex. It shouldn't be at the forefront nor the pin point of every conversation but kinda like a side plate - something that we can pick upon if we choose to in order to quench our hunger!

A Case of the Horns

My (male) friend invited me out this weekend clubbing. I refused because I had other things on and to be brutally honest, I'm just damn lazy! Speaking to him yesterday, I asked him how his clubbing night was to which he replied "weird". Not the standard response I'd usually expect so I probed some more. "People f**king - everywhere". Now my ears perked up - which club was this?! WTF?! He replies "Didn't I tell you it was a swingers club?!" Why the hell did you invite me?!

This is the one person who I can talk about sex, sex and more sex without feeling awkward or having the feeling that he's judging me so our conversations can change from politics to sexually explicit fantasies in a matter of seconds . We actually spoke about what it was like. Apparently, you don't have to actually swing, you can just watch or have sex with your partner or join in with others so long as there's a mutual consent thing going on... though it's nothing I'd probably ever do, I have considered what it would have been like to have been a fly on any of those walls!