XOXO

Remember when I wrote this?

And Auf wrote this.

Now someone (someone who is a hottie as well) has started to end their texts with x.

Confused? Yeah - that'd be me!

Ten on Tuesday

I thought I’d do start doing this (well I’d do it today and see how it goes from there!) and I’m doing it on Wednesday so I am late (almost fashionably but not quite) as always! I’ll probably pick up on the 30 Days challenges in about 6 months!

1. If you could watch only one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be? Remember the Titans – because against all adversity, it shows us that there is good in the world. And we can change something if we believe in it enough.

2. Let’s say someone wrote a screenplay about you; what actor/actress would you choose to play you and why? I'm going to say Anne Hathaway though I don't have a reason for it!

3. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in theaters? Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves – And I remember the AP turning up wasted halfway through. Good times!

4. Did you ever make out at the back of a movie theater in middle school/high school? Not in middle or high school but first year of uni. “Make out” is a bit of an understatement…..

5. Are you a Netflix-er, Blockbuster-er or a Redbox-er? (Or none of the above?) For legal reasons – none of the above.

6. Name one actor/actress who you would give anything to have a dinner date with. Ian Somerholder. Do I need a reason? Enough said.

7. What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen? Oh God. So many but one that sticks out in my mind over the last couple of years is Be Kind, Rewind. It was just a pointless film if you ask me.

8. Do you sneak snacks into the theater when you go? Always! Snacks are overpriced at the cinema. You pay extortionate prices to see a film and then have to pay even more extortionate prices to eat that junk?! No thank you.

9. Movie theater popcorn: love or hate it? Love it!

10. What is the all-time best Disney movie in your opinion? Sleeping Beauty. I love the three fairy godmothers!

Acquaintances

I love my friends – B, A, R, RL, SS and all the other random initials you might have seen on here.

I went out on Friday night without them though. Because I know that when we are out, we stick together. We have our own jokes, our own terminology for things, our own little quirks and I am comfortable around them. Friday night was definitely outside of my comfort zone. Invited out for a birthday party of a boy I didn’t know by a girl who I’ve only recently met is not ideal - social butterfly or not!

But I went because as much as I love my friends, they are at different stages to me and trying to talk to them about how I feel makes me scared. Afraid that they’ll judge me. Thinking that I should have moved on by now.

I met a girl. Someone whom I’ve seen around at other parties. We share mutual friends and have said hello to each other more than once but we’ve never had an actual conversation. But Friday night, I was able to share my fears of loneliness, dating sites, marriage and the future because she is in the exact same boat as me. And it happened so easily. We spoke about our pasts and I mentioned the ex because even though it’s been a while, there is still some pain. My physical insecurities are so rarely voiced in public – in fact not at all. I don’t share with anyone how I feel about myself but with her I did. Not because I want her to become my lifelong friend. But because it felt good to be able to share that with someone who I don’t know. Someone who I don’t care if she’ll judge me or not.
I don’t feel comfortable enough to do that with the usual lot. Not because they wouldn’t support me but because they’d know me at my most vulnerable. And I’m not sure if I want them to see that side of me.

I’m not sure if I want anyone to see that side of me. The side that actually cares. The side that is so lonely that it’s sometimes in despair. The side that matters.

9 Months and Counting

It has been 9 months since you told me. And about 7 since I last spoke to you. Things are supposed to get easier with time they say and they have - definitely. But lately I've been missing you. Not in a "love of my life kind of way". But in a "you were my best friend" kind of way. Not being able to share what my latest favourite song is. Not being able to share how I feel about the death of the FBI's most wanted. And it's the littlest thing that trigger me off. Seeing the same car that you drive.
The fact that I am at such a different stage in my life than to that of my nearest and dearest friends.

I know I shouldn't be feeling like this. But I can't talk to anyone about it. None of them will understand. And it saddens me. Because despite the smile I put on to the outside world, inside I'm crumbling.

25 Days in 2011

No not a new film.#

25 days annual leave a year is just not enough. :(

14 - 18 July: Amsterdam to see Take That perform!

02 - 24 September: Sydney, Australia via Kuala Lumpar, Malaysia (4 nights).

Total number of days taken: 20. :( And that's not even thinking about all the ad hoc holidays I'll need!

(I've already started scoping out where the best places to party are but all suggestions are welcome!)

Cornered

April hasn’t been a very productive month for me blog wise.

I’ve been so caught up in trying to figure out what to wear to the Royal Wedding (if only!).

I love weddings. Well certain parts to them.

RL was married over the weekend. Hindu ceremony on the Saturday and the Christian ceremony on the Sunday. I really enjoyed myself – how she and the groom and their families managed to arrange such a beautiful wedding in such a short space of time is beyond me.

My mum attended the Hindu ceremony with me and not once did she raise the question of “So, does anyone take your fancy?”. My own mother – I was so proud.
A comes over to say hello and promptly asks “So – what about that guy over there? I can hook you up you know!”.

The Christian ceremony was for only for family and close friends due to lack of space. I was seated with three recently married couples (B, A, G and their respective halves). I do like to leave myself open for punishment it seems.
Our conversation pretty much ranged from
“So when is it your turn?”, “What kind of guy are you looking for?”, “What about that guy over there?”, “Go and talk to him” to “Man – married life is hard”, “We need to get our own place but it’s so expensive”, “We have our own place and it’s sooo expensive”, “You can’t eat that” and a little bit more. But that’s not the point of this post.

The bit I love most about weddings is the dancing. And if you don’t know by now, Myself, A and his wife R, RL and her husband amongst many of our other friends are freshies. We love Tamil music. We especially love Koothu/Gaana. I can’t help but move when I hear it. And RL catered for the crowd. On came the choons and off we went!
A always tells me that there must be no music around if I want to meet a guy because I concentrate so much on dancing that he probably wouldn’t get a look in (so true it’s sad!).

As the end of the evening approached, time for the bride to throw her bouquet. And so I stepped quietly away from the corwd of girls that were gathering. Purely because I’m not that kind of person. UNTIL A and R decided to bellow across the dance floor (the music was turned down by this point so everyone could hear!) “SCRUMPS! SCRUMPS! Get into the crowd. Get to the front!” And then promptly came over and pushed me towards the crowd.
If that wasn’t embarrassing enough, it only gets worse. I managed to escape them and find a corner at the back of the room away from this. What does RL do? She throws her bouquet as faaaaaar back as possible so it lands on the table next to where I am standing. To which A and R come running over and thrust it into my hands.

I tried to profusely proclaim that it shouldn’t be mine but no one would hear anything of it. Next thing I know there is a mic in front of me. Me being the ever cool, calm and collected girl that I am somewhat hysterically just muttered “I need to go home”.

(Though, once I had that bouquet in my hand though, I didn’t put it down for fear that someone might try and take it from me!)

However, I don’t think the same implications apply if you don’t actually catch a bouquet! Hopefully, it’ll help my family and friends relax a little!

Sins

As I stand waiting for my friend on this beautiful spring evening and I see all the couples around me, I can't help but feel envy.

1 down. 6 to go.