Your Daughter

*Disclaimer*: Highly (overdue) angst post to follow!

I think I've mentioned somewhere on here before that I have an alcoholic parent (AP). The AP and I have never got along. I guess that's just the way it's meant to be in our house. We're so similar you see. If you believe in all that numerology stuff, you could say it's because we're the same number. Or it's because the AP has raised me and and certain aspects of their personality have rubbed off on me. Whatever the reason may be, we don't get along.
It doesn't help matters that the non alcoholic parent (NAP) is quite defenceless when dealing with the AP.

The AP shows their love for my siblings so much more than for me. It's probably because they always give in and fund the AP for their habit. Or because they let the AP get on with their stuff when drunk. I don't know but for whatever reason, it always end up coming back to me.

I am the cause the of everything.

"Your daughter...." AP tells NAP.

"Everything that goes wrong is because of your daughter."

"She's the one who's going to be downfall of this family."

"Either she goes or I go."

And blah blah blah. Tell me something that I haven't already heard before.

AP wasn't always like this. There was a time when I would stay out of their way and things would flow that little bit more smoothly in our house. But nowadays, it's like AP picks a fight with me. Knowing that with just that little bit more persistent goading, I'll give in and retaliate.

I try so hard not. Believe me. I've even taken to leaving the house and walk the streets until I know that enough time has passed for AP to calm down or fall asleep. Anything to spare NAP and siblings what I know will follow. The ranting about how I'm such a disappointment and that I'll bring shame to the family with the amount of guys I'm supposedly with! It's something that I've heard repetitively but something that doesn't hurt any less when it gets shouted out there in the open.

The thing is, I don't know how much AP remembers the following morning. If I try to avoid them and not talk to them, I can hardly help myself because when AP is sober, they're back to being the parent I remember from my childhood.

Oops!

I may have just booked my next holiday without planning to! Not such a bad thing I hear you cry.... Well, I haven't told my parents yet! :S

So, This is Christmas?

Having been tagged by Thé Doc and Gehan, I should really get around to this post before the New Year!

I think the point of this post is to summarise 2008 so here goes I guess!

In 2008:

• I have fallen out of love with New York.
• I started this blog with the hope of just having somewhere to pen down my thoughts and in addition to doing so have met some very cool people.
• I've had my heart broken (repetitively).
• I realised that you can't always depend upon your family.
• I bought a SLR camera.
• I took up kickboxing (though I'm not going to carry on as I am far too lame to hit anyone!)

There's probably a bit more but nothing that strikes out me. I wouldn't say that 2008 has been that much of a defining year for me. Maybe this time next year, I'll have more to say!

The Love Affair Is Over (!)

I didn't think that it would end like this. All it took was 6 days! 6 days breathing and living it. For those of you that knew, I was in New York a couple of weeks ago. Up until this trip - New York had been one of my favourite places. Always busy - the hustle and bustle of it all, the fact that whenever you're in Manhattan it feels as though you've stepped onto a set of a film or Friends, the fact that everything is celebrated OTT amongst so much more.

But by the end of the 6 days, I'd had enough. Maybe it was because of who I went with (siblings and S - the ex).
Arriving at Heathrow T5 (which looks awesome) - I was filled with that excited anticipation that is expected when you're going on holiday; the prospect of being away in a foreign land without the dramas of being at home! The flight was uneventful and thankfully due to online check in I had managed to bag us all seats by the exits. You know the ones where you always see other people sitting and glare at them enviously because they have so much leg space.

Arriving in JFK, I was happy to be back in NY - it always seemed like a home away from home. We were staying at the Pan American in Queens and they offered a free shuttle service from the airport to the hotel. Saving money is always a bonus so I was well excited when I booked the hotel. Being someone who tries to plan meticulously, I read the reviews about the hotel (do not ever go on TripAdvisor unless you never want to go on holiday ever again!) and was highly prepared for the worst. I kept telling myself that we wouldn't be spending much time in our hotel room so it would be fine. Arriving at the hotel, I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't look as bad as I expected but appearances can be deceiving. I'm one of these people that judge the quality of a hotel by the quality of the bathroom. And suffice to say - it was very nice.

Despite physically being prepared for the cold, mentally none of us were. The days were spent wondering around Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn in a cold daze. It was unbelievably cold but we ran out of things to do after about 4 days.

If we had more time, we could have done so much more but due to the fact that I was travelling with a group who weren't really interested in doing anything apart from shopping and the normal (overrated) sights, I ended up being quite disappointed.

I will go back to NY at some point but not for a long time yet!

Season Greetings

I haven't had a chance to read any blogs and today was spent running around doing family stuff but to everyone that reads this - I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and the best for the New Year! :)

The Outcome

What happened next?

R left me her keys, contact telephone numbers, some money to order pizza and casually dropped it into conversation that this was the first time that they had left P with someone overnight (!). On top of that, my dad freaked the shit out of me by saying something like” Say they give her some drugs and go off and then you’re the one left to deal with that….(!)”! WTF Appa?! Why would you say something like that?! So I was in freaked out overtime!

Leaving work – I looked like a right dishevelled nutter and I may have been muttering to myself slightly about what to do!
Arriving at the nursery (first part a success having found the nursery and not getting lost – who said I didn’t have a sense of direction?!), I was pleased that they remembered who I was and let P know I had arrived. She ran up to me and again gave me a knee hug (she’s getting better at those!). She made to run off but I asked her politely to hold my hand and she did. As we walked down the stairs, I heard the inevitable.

P: Where’s mummy?

Scrumps (S): Mummy’s at work my love. She’s working late with daddy and they’ll be back soon.

Phew – no further questions your honour. She put on her jacket and sat in her buggy (pushchair) for me. First proper hurdle. Trying to push a buggy with a child who’s probably (clearly) too heavy to be in it. I was all over the place to begin with and she probably felt a bit queasy after it but didn’t say anything.

We stopped at the sweet shop and bough some sweets. R told me to buy her whatever she asked for. She chose a sweet that probably had the highest sugar count known to man but who was I to stop her – I didn’t want a tantrum!

I managed to find our way home and promptly texted R to let her know. This was what she was most worried about – again, me? No sense of direction? Hell to the no!

S: So P – what shall we do?

P: Baaaaaarneeeeey!

S: OK. Barney it is. Where are your DVDs?

P proceeded to open a box and fling out a few DVDs. Now I am not one that’s clued up with technology. I can operate my phone, turn on a computer, just about manage to turn on my TV at home with the DVD box but games consoles are not my thing. So imagine the horror when I see that they use their X-Box © as their DVD player. Bollocks! Luckily P knows how to use it – but I for the life of me could not fathom out how to change the channel to receive the picture. After a few tries, I give up. P luckily and happily agrees to do something else.

P: Puzzles! Yay!

So we did some puzzles. At the same time, P is covered with in sugar from the sweet that she chose. So I tried to negotiate with her.

S: Shall we order some pizza now?

P: Yes.

S: Shall we put the sweeties away until after dinner.

P: Yes *whilst shaking her head*

So I ordered the pizza. Upon arrival, I managed to get P to sit down and eat something that wasn’t sugar. This wasn’t that easy. After dinner, we sat and watched some rubbish TV.

An hour later or so, I asked P is she was ready to go to bed. She said yes and I remember thinking to myself – RESULT! I didn’t manage to get her to change into her pyjamas – well I managed to get her to put the bottoms on and that has got to count for something.
As I tucked her into bed – I was still reeling at the ease of it all. What do these young frazzled out mothers complain about?!

P: Can I have a story?

S: Sure you can honey. Which one to do you want?

P leaps out of bed (but I just tucked you in!) and chooses about 5 different books.

I’m still smiling. I can do this I mentally tell myself!

So I read them. Some of them are interactive. P needs to join in. But then it gets absurd. She has chosen a French/English translation book – how the hell do you manage to change random words into a story?!

*pen/un stylo* S: The pen is blue.

P: No it’s not. It’s green. *giggle giggle* A lot of fumbling about on the bed.

S: No it’s not P. Come on, let’s not jump about on the bed.

P: What time is mummy coming home?

S: Soon my dear. When you open your eyes in the morning, she’ll be home.

What succeeded was a lot of me reading random stuff and trying to get P to fall asleep. This took about 90 minutes. Finally she fell asleep (around 9:30 ish) as I was reading Dr Seuss. Thank the Lord almighty!

I didn’t manage to get to bed until midnight. I kept checking to see if she was still breathing. As I lay in bed – every sound managed to freak me out. I did doze off and at 1:00, P came into my room telling me she wanted a drink. This was easy enough as I had made on earlier. And off she trotted back to bed.

3AM, P wanders in again – she needs the bathroom. Not a problem – and she manages to stumble back into bed once more.

5:30 AM – she wanders in and needs the toilet again. Sure P, I tell her. But she doesn’t wander back into her bed. Because now; P is WIDE AWAKE! Oh dear Lord. It’s 5:30 I tell P. Shall we try and go back to bed I ask her. Sure she says. But she wants to get into my bed. OK… I can deal with that. I close my eyes to make it clear that I want to sleep but I feel her eyes boring into me.

I open them and ask her what’s up! Baaaaaaaaaaaaaarneeeeeeeeeeeeeey she replies.

I guess it’s time for me to get up! 5:30 AM on a Saturday. Luckily – Saturday morning TV is totally geared towards little children. So we sat there watching Milkshake, Thomas (who is by far my favourite), Tom & Jerry amongst so much more!

I managed to get her to eat breakfast and we managed to play with a lil’ bit more play dough. R text me to let me know what time she’d be back and I remember thinking to myself “only need to keep P occupied for 2 more hours – phew!”.

I managed to make the last few hours go by quite quickly by playing hide and seek and creating a fantasy world where P was the princess and I was the evil dragon (yeah – I’m bad!).

Despite the fun P and I had, I can not tell you how happy I was to R. Not that P was any trouble at all but there’s only so much play dough I can take!

It can't have been that bad because apparently P asked R when I'd be coming around again! Yeah, not for a while I remember telling myself!

The Incident

Politics is not my strong point. I mean, I’m not some airhead bimbo but it’s definitely not something that I’m mega clued up about.

Which is why when I write this, I fear the backlash that I’ll receive from those who are anti America, anti The War on Iraq and inevitably anti George “Dubya” Bush (GDB).

Fair enough, GDB made some dubious decisions (OK, more than some and definitely more than dubious) but remember, he didn’t put himself there. It was the majority of a population of some 300 million people that did that.

Did he deserve the shoe throwing? Not in my opinion. Why? Because he’s an old man that’s had his run. Let him be. If it’s the most disrespectful sign in the Arab world – I don’t think he deserved it. Watching him helpless on the video made me wince slightly. I know I might get the " what about the helpless Iraqis?" question but do the Iraqis believe that they would have been better off under Saddam?

At the end of the day, GDB was doing his job – he may not have done it well but he did what he believed was right. Isn't that a true representation of someone's character - doing what you believe in despite the backlash you may face?

I just feel sorry for the guy and I never thought I'd say that about "Dubya".

A Four Year Old and Me

This should have gone in my I've nevers but tonight for the first time ever - I am babysitting. And by first time ever, I mean someone who isn't related to me.

My colleague (R) has asked me to babysit her four year old daughter (P). I'm touched that R trusted me with this because she's only known me 6 weeks. So I'll be picking P up from nursery, taking her home and staying the night.

I met P the other night (so that she didn't get totally freaked out when a 5'7 dark ass Sri Lankan turned up at her nursery wanting to take her home!). She's beautiful and slightly scary. Is it possible to be scared of someone who's 20 years younger than you?!
She came up to me after R introduced me to her and mumbled something incoherently about a biscuit and then proceeded to hug me. It wasn't so much of a hug as it was a knee hug.

So there was R, P and I walking home (well P ran most of the way with her other nursery buddies). When we got to their house, P showed me all of her toys. Like all of them. And I think I may have been more excited than her. She had play dough, dolls, a playhouse, a lil' mini shop and so much more. Totally brought out the child in me (not that it needed much effort!). I left thinking that it'll be good fun and I'll have an excellent time.

But in less than half an hour, I'm off to babysit. And I am freaked outta my mind!

Last Post

Of the day!

Quick update:

Sister graduated - yay! Had job interview today and has a second interview tomorrow - more yay!

I saw Michael McIntyre live on Friday night (you tube him - you won't be disappointed. I am being lazy so will put up the link over the weekend!). He was amazing. So funny and such good clean humour! Love it!

And last but not least - New York in 2 weeks! Woooooo!! *does Chandler-esque dance*

Sorry for the bombardment of posts!

It's Party Time!

I have been so busy with stuff. Not even good stuff. Just random stuff. It all kicked off with RL. She wants me to tell A about how I felt because it's affecting her relationship with A. WTF?! Why does how I felt affect your relationship?! That's fucking stupid! So she tried to get me to tell him but I didn't want to. What does she think it'll achieve? Stupid stupid girl with her holier than thou fucking halo (which isn't so fucking holy!)

But that's rubbish. I went to a Venetian Masked Ball on Saturday night - at the Hilton hotel (very classy!). My work had their annual award ceremony/Christmas party so I went. It was all very fancy. I was thoroughly impressed with the decor (photos attached at the bottom!). I wore a saree that was a similar colour to my mask (courtesy of my trip to Las Vegas) and managed to get a few compliments. I would post a picture of me with the mask - but I think it still shows too much!

Upon entrance, we were treated to a champagne reception followed by the award ceremony which was touching considering the year that my employer has had. Then a very wonderful three course meal. And then we had entertainment in the form of an Opera Quartet (who were amazing!).

It was all very cool and my words won't do it justice so here goes!

The cool masks on the wall!

The cool fireworks that came out of the candelabra - picture a whole room lit up with these!

A selection of our table masks - guess which is mine?

No Time!

I am not cut out for my new job! Seriously. I have no time to keep an update on what's happening in the blogging world and what some of my regular bloggers have been up to. I have spent the last 2 hours trying to catch up and still I'm not done!

Anyways - I updated my blog roll! So many blogs, so little time!

If you're not on there - please don't be offended. It's a work in process!

Lamest Post Ever

I was (hoping) thinking I’d got missed out in the “I’ve never” tagging (all together now: Awwww). However, Gutter (bless her heart) apparently wants me to join in. Thinking about it – I don’t really have a list of normal “I’ve never”s. Here goes though:

I’ve never:

• Told a guy I've had feelings for him (outside of a relationship that is).
• Been so stumped as to what to write in a blog post as I am now!
• Told RL that I think she's the most annoying person I know (right now that is).
• Taken any drugs (unless you’re including alcohol in which case this statement doesn’t really apply!).

OK – this is far too lame!

• I've never written such a lame ass post (IMHO)!

Being Above Average

That's right, I'm above average. I'm modest enough to accept it. I mean, it's hard enough right, being above average let alone not having the ability to take it gracefully!

Well, I am above average according to this. Clearly they didn't question me because if they had, I would have been maybe one of few anomalies. Because I am a cry baby. Seriously. I cry at everything. Well, maybe not everything but most things. For example (and not short of putting myself out there to a barrage of ridicule from you guys); I cry at One Tree Hill, most Tamil films, some English films, every Disney film, when Appa or Amma shout at me, when my siblings shout at me, when my siblings fight with each other and it has nothing to do with me(!), when I bang my knee on the table leg – OK, not quite but you get what I mean?

But yesterday I was just couldn’t help myself. And I had good reason too. It started off with my normal journey to work where I picked up a free paper and the front page was regarding this story. I couldn't help myself. I actually welled up on the train - in front of other people! How can people find it within themselves to do this kind of thing?! And how in the world does a country that is supposedly developed allow this kind of thing to happen?! I was so upset that I had a few concerned looks but managed to compose myself without making too much of an idiot out of myself.

If that wasn't enough, I watched this last night. WTF?! Seriously, it was some disturbing viewing for the sheer fact that these poor children had been (and continue being so) ostracised and mistreated. I was literally sitting there with those silent tears (you know those ones I'm such a big fan of!).

What is wrong with the world?!

You Gotta Love Monday Mornings.....

A slightly different variation on Gutter’s episode of Monday mornings.

So I walked into my local shop by the tube station today. I would try and type this in Thanglish but it wouldn’t do it justice!

Cute – ish guy who works in the shop (CGWWITS): Are you from SL? (In English)

Me: Yes. (In English)

CGWWITS: Tamil ah? (In Tamil now)

Me: Yes I’m Tamil. (In English)

CGWWITS: Are you working or studying? (Brownie points for thinking I still look young enough to be studying! – In Tamil)

Me: Yes I am.

CGWWITS: Oh. Whereabouts? (Still in Tamil)

Me: Mentions a vague area of London.

CGWWITS: Oh, ok. So what’s your name? (In Tamil still)

Me: Thank you, bye… *pays for goods and literally legs it out of the shop* (Definitely in English!)

Cuba 2007 - Apologies for the length!

This time last year I was 4 weeks away from a very meticulously planned trip to Cuba. Obviously I didn't blog then but I'm feeling reflective so here it is in hindsight.

Around May 2007, a few of us decided that we wanted to go on holiday. So many destinations were thrown around the cauldron and I honestly don't know how or why Cuba was chosen but it was. And guess who got lumbered with trying to organise everything - yep, good ol' dependable Scrumps. I don't know what you guys are like but I am one of these travellers that read reviews of hotels, things to do, buy the guide book, see which time of year is the best to go amongst many other things. I try to plan so that I get the most out of my holiday because I never know if I will visit that place ever again. We settled on visiting three different places in Cuba and by some miraculous tour company managed to find a great deal which included all our hotels, flights and internal transfers. I was pleased to say the least.

So who came? Myself, A, RL, SS (RL's then bf) and G ( a girl who I didn't know all that well but RL did. I'd say we are an eclectic mix who probably only had a few things in common but off we went.

Our first point of call was Santiago de Cuba on the Eastern coast of Cuba. What struck me the most was how much it reminded me of SL. The simple life. People sitting in doorways and just hanging out. The simplicity of it all. The hotel wasn't great. But apparently by Cuba's standards, it was top notch. But we're not the type to complain - we make do with what we have. The only great thing about it was it's rooftop terrace. The night of A's birthday, A, G and I went up there with our bottle of rum and cans of coke and stargazed whilst listening to ColdPlay. Shooting stars do exist!

One of the many old cars that graced the "roads" of Cuba!

Santiago is surrounded by hills - hence most things are an uphill walk and needless to say we struggled!

Random guy sitting in his doorway - looks much better in B&W!

We were in SdC for 4 days (a day too long if you ask me) and we managed to fit in a baseball game, a tour around the place, visit the Bacardi home, stargaze and get stopped by the local police who had confused us with the locals! The only thing that was disappointing was the lack of basic food like potatoes and vegetables. The main dish here was rice with beans and pork. It really wasn't that appetising so if you visit here - take some packet food with you! Luckily, on the last day we found a 4 star hotel that served pizza and garlic bread and had cheese.... absolutely lush!

Following SdC, we were transferred to Varadero. An all inclusive resort set on the white sandy beach. Arriving at 2:00 in the morning didn't do anything for our tired moods as we tried to find our hotel rooms for 45 minutes! As morning approached, how grateful were we to find that we could have burgers for breakfast?! And that it was all topped off with a nice swim in the pool and then a walk to the beach... Varadero was awesome! We arranged a few excursions. The first afternoon was a sky dive. I honestly don't know why I agreed to this but I am so glad that I did. To jump out of a plane at 10000ft with a random guy (RG) strapped to your back whilst looking over a clear blue ocean and knowing that you're going to land on find white sand - there is absolutely nothing like it! And inevitable I was the first one out. There was no prepping - just a quick convo between me and the RG about how he would throw me out of the plane when he had finished counting to 3. Honestly - an amazing adrenaline rush. I remember once the parachute had opened, the calmness of being in the air. That floating down as I had a conversation with my RG about where he was from despite the language barrier.

We also managed to arranged a discovery jeep tour which allowed us to do 4x4 driving and the driving of a speedboat. Listening to Return of the Mack (you gotta love Mark Morrison!) and watching the scenery go past. I would post the video but it's too embarrassing for words! We rode horses, held baby alligators and snakes, rode a bull and were scared by dogs. Us with nature at it's very best!

Our last excursion was a catamaran cruise to a small island off of the mainland. This allowed us to go snorkeling in the ocean as well as a swim with dolphins. Again, I can't tell you how awesome this was.

I think I've probably bored you all to death but I'm going to leave our last point of call for my next post!

Anonymity

A lot of the blogs I read are blogged under an alias. I get why they do it. Probably for some of the same reasons as I do. You get to write what you want without having to worry about the repercussions so much - you have a masked identity to hide behind. Which is why I haven't told any of my friends I have a blog. And the few that do know I have one don't know where it is (despite the incessant badgering!). So below is an email between A and I. This is how we waste away our hours at work! I just wanted to share at the effort of trying to find out where the blog is! It's slightly long but start at the bottom and work your way up!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Scrumpy
Sent: 07 November 2008 15:28
To: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

A – Do you know how many blogs are on each hosting site?! Even if I told you which one, you’d still have read through a fair few hundred thousand.
So give it up.
I’m going home soon. Krispy Kreme donuts were good!

From: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Sent: 07 November 2008 15:25
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

Which one??? Dnt make me read all of them!!!!!

From: Scrumpy
Sent: 07 November 2008 15:24
To: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

Yep.

From: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Sent: 07 November 2008 15:17
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

So you are with one of these?

From: Scrumpy
Sent: 07 November 2008 15:15
To: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

You can set up blogs on a blog hosting site. The only two I know of are Wordpress (www.wordpress.com) and Blogger (www.blogger.com). Both are easy to use but I am sure that there are other hosting sites out there.

From: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Sent: 07 November 2008 15:13
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

When can I read it?
Where can I set up blogs?

From: Scrumpy
Sent: 07 November 2008 15:11
To: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

Dude – I hardly misrepresent you. If anything – you probably get a lot more credit on there then I will ever give you personally!
Like you’ll know if I even use it!

From: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Sent: 07 November 2008 15:10
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

Yeah u can use it…but only if I can read it…
U understand I dnt want to be misrepresented dnt you???

From: Scrumpy
Sent: 07 November 2008 14:59
To: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

Will you let me read it?
Lol – too cool for school you are!
Go do some work. But do I have your permission to use snippets of this email on the blog? Obviously, I’ll maintain the anonymity thing.

From: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Sent: 07 November 2008 14:56
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

No I just want to blog man….its seems like the in thing to do these days…
Yeah im gonna get a writer name…t-dogg or JB maybe???

From: Scrumpy
Sent: 07 November 2008 14:52
To: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

To make friends?
What will you blog about? Anonymously?
I love you! You’re too cute!

From: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Sent: 07 November 2008 14:51
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

Ok I want a blog too now!!!!!!!

From: Scrumpy
Sent: 07 November 2008 14:49
To: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

I guess so.
I guess a few (like 2) are friends now. And by friends – I mean, we email regularly and that’s it.

From: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Sent: 07 November 2008 14:45
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

So you made a friend through blogging??

From: Scrumpy
Sent: 07 November 2008 14:43
To: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

I don’t really have blogging mates. I have a “readership”! :-P
And why would they hate you? What do you think I blog about you?!
And one does text me. But that’s it.
Lol – get a blog! I think soon enough I’ll be ready to let you read it!

From: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Sent: 07 November 2008 14:40
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

Really?? Do all your blogging mates hate me then???
And they text you??? seriously??? How serious is this??
I want a blog too!!!!!

From: Scrumpy
Sent: 07 November 2008 14:37
To: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

If only you knew!
You’ve featured on it a few times. So much so, that someone who reads it text me saying “have fun at the cinema with *insert your alias here*.

From: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Sent: 07 November 2008 14:36
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

Hmmmm well I am glad you are proud innit…
Blog that too

From: Scrumpy
Sent: 07 November 2008 14:33
To: A [mailto:A@work.co.uk]
Subject: RE: Tomorrow night...

Awww! Fatty! Bless you! At least you can sleep all weekend.
No, you smash it bares. And I am proud of you.

Flattery...

There's something about being beeped at by a 55 year old bus driver that just doesn't do anything for your ego!

Priorities

What was supposed to be a coffee after work with B to sort out her issues turned into a night of wine fuelled heart to heart. She explained her side of the story. One example of where I did do the wrong thing blown out of proportion, and fanning her insecurities and paranoia. But I listened, apologised and said that I would try to sort it out. I guess we'll have to see how things go...

But like I said - it was completely wine fuelled and thus, completely honest. I wasn't out too late but am actually surprised that I managed to find my way home. I think there was a lot of swaying and a lot of physically keeping my eyes open. Getting off the tube, I tried to find my ticket and fiddled with it for about 5 minutes trying to get it in the barrier. I vaguely remember the look of disdain on my siblings' faces as I got into the car...

At home, I have some recollection of Amma towering over me as I tried to fall asleep in the landing. She didn't look amused! I don't think I will ever live this down!

RL and me also had a bit of a "put it all out there" last night. She is not impressed with me. Maybe I have been a bit of a lame friend recently. But her issue is with me and A. I know she introduced us and maybe I should do more to include her but it does slip my mind sometimes and I am going to consciously do something about that.

I don't think what some of my "friends" realise is that my family will always come before them. If that means having to give up my social life and not returning calls as frequent as I should - then so be it.

Missed Opportunities!

A and I went out last night. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other and I guess we had stuff to talk about. I really enjoy his company because it’s just so comfortable.

A certain blogger text me (yes, I have exchanged numbers with a fellow blogger!) saying to have a nice time with A which made me smile. The familiarity that A has on my blog is lovely.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned before but A is my cinema buddy. Basically, we have these unlimited cards that we pay a small amount for each month and then we can see as many films as we want. They’re only valid at a certain chain but that’s OK because we have one within equidistance of where we both live. Over the last 10 months – we’ve seen a lot of films.

We met about an hour earlier and bless him, he bought me a milkshake (this is a big deal because he is poorer than I am!).

I love the fact that we don’t have to make the effort with each other. That we can turn up in our scraggiest clothes and not judge. Yesterday he looked like such a tramp; it actually beggared belief!

A was telling me about what’s been going in his life – love, money, family – the normal stuff. Obviously I was listening but at some point a HOT guy walked past.
I think that sometimes people walk past A and I and assume we are a couple. Though we don’t look like one. We’re hardly suited. You know, we do slouch against each other now and again but if you listen to our conversations, they mainly consist of him telling me “Your face is dust!” and me retaliating “You’re balding!” (you gotta love it!). Hardly whispering sweet nothings to each other!

Anyways, the hot guy walked past and he looked at me, looked at A and then looked back at me. So I did what any single girl would do – I smiled and he smiled back. And as he walked passed and carried on walking (away sadly), he looked back, shrugged his shoulders and smiled some more. A was completely oblivious to this. Would he have approached me if A wasn’t there? We’ll never know (I’m only saying that he was potentially slightly interested because guys never usually smile at me!).

We decided to watch Burn After Reading – A Coen Brothers film. The last Coen Brothers film we saw was No Country for Old Men – the ending of which left us well and truly stumped. I mean, we left the cinema thinking “WTF just happened?!”. You think we’d have learned but clearly no. Again, the film ended and again we sat there for about 5 minutes after the credits had finished rolling looking at the screen in utter disbelief. I get that it’s satire. Seriously, I do. Both great films but the ending left me slightly confused. Seriously!

Before we parted company, we hung around the foyer just talking (A, if and when you read this – you said when we both get married to our respective partners, we’re going to do a road trip across America – you love me!) and laughing and then he did something unexpected – he gave me a hug. This doesn’t happen very often unless it’s after a night out which is probably coz he’s drunk.

Again – you didn’t dun mess up last MBF!

Totally random post with nothing at all interesting but I wanted to document it!

Oh My Good Lord!

It is unbelievably cold! I mean come on, we haven’t even ended October yet and yesterday we had sleet which turned to snow. What is up with this global warming malarkey?!

Don’t get me wrong though. Winter is one of my favourite seasons. I love those cool crisp mornings where there is that distinct chill in the air and yet the blue sky is clear for miles on end without a cloud in the sky. You don’t seem to be able to feel the Sun’s heat despite it shining blazingly in the horizon. And the air you exhale is made up of cloudy puffs.

I’m not what you call an early bird but I don’t mind getting up in the mornings – it’s just the initial leaving my warm, cosy bed that always puts me off. But there’s something (to me that is) comforting about getting up when it’s dark.
Wrapping up warm – making sure you have your gloves, scarf and anything else that is likely to keep the bitter wind avoiding contact with your skin.

There’s something about it that reminds me of Dickenson’s era. The glow from the street lights and people huddled against the cold – it comforts me.

That’s enough random rambling though.

With regards to the last post – It’s still not sorted but higher powers have got involved and advised me not to. So I’m not going to. At the end of the day, I’ve tried to do my best by everybody but there’s only so much I can do.
But A has been an absolute star – bless him. I didn’t tell him anything about it. I only told him that I needed some space and time to sort it out. I try not to get friends involved in family shit (serious issues I know!). But I tend to deal with those kind of things on my own or with my siblings.
Despite me telling him this – he text every day to ask me to meet up, and checking I was OK. And to me, that was much appreciated. I think it’s because he flops so much and I help him fix it – he wanted to pay his dues!

And B and I – well, that’s not sorted but we’re meeting Friday I think to try and sort things out… We’ll see how it goes I guess!

My FB Status

Says "It's not that I don't trust you, I just can't depend on you."

B called me the other night not long after I published the last post. And she basically said that I had told A her business. Obviously I didn't. You'd think that after however many years of friendship, she wouldn't have to question that but she did.

If only she knew that A doesn't give a shit which is why she never comes up in our conversations (they had a falling out about 6 weeks ago!).

But question it she did. Emotional as I am, I basically told her that I hate having to prove myself to her constantly. Over and over again that I am going to tell her shit to other people. Why would I do that?! Does she think that once she's told me, I go out thinking "So let me go and tell everyone coz I've nothing else to do!"?! It's bollocks really.

She also said that she feels as though I put A before her. Not true if you ask me because of the countless occasions that I have been there when I could have been with A. The fucking paranoia and jealousy is beyond my amusement now. Seriously. Get over it. If you don't get along with him, fair enough. I haven't asked you two to be friends.

The thing is, I know how pathetic this all sounds. Right now, I just want my own time and space.

Last night, I went through some pretty rubbish shit. Nothing to do with this. Family and business issues in which threats were made, property was damaged and police were called.
You know when you can't talk to adults to make them see sense - to show them that even though you may not want to do it - there is only one feasible option and it's the best.

The threat making people are serious. Do you know how much I begged and cried my heart out last night to make sure that they didn't hurt you? To buy that little bit of extra time and say that I will find the money. I will give it to them so that your pride doesn't get your property further damaged, your children hurt or whatever else there could be.

I'm a mess at the moment and the people that I should have been able to turn to aren't there. As you do get older (and yes I'm old!), you see things a lot clearer. You can't trust or depend upon anyone other than yourself.

I'm not bitter - just honest.

I Just Don't Get It!

I will never understand women. Don’t get me wrong – I am one. But I seriously will never get it. Why do we insist on being so random?!

I just need to vent and put this out there (here).

I’ve been a lil’ busy lately. My new job (even though it’s only been a week) is taking it’s toll. I sometimes don’t get home until well past 7 ish!

Despite this, I’ve done my best to keep in contact with my friends. This has worked more so with B and A because I’ve called them and they’ve called me.

B has been going through a tough time and I am doing my utmost to be there for her. Sometimes she has phases where she goes MIA and now is one of those times. I know the situation well enough now to leave her to it and know she’ll call me when she’s ready.

However, she’s been MIA for a few days so I called, text and FBed her (a lil' stalkerish maybe but I just wanted to make sure she's OK).

I told her she can talk to me as well. I've noticed long wall to walls with her and RL and yes, I felt slightly disgruntled (God, I'm pathetic!) but following this - surely you can see why?

Imagine my surprise when she text me back saying she feels as though our friendship feels "weird". WEIRD?! WTF?! I thought things had been fine between us! I hate people who do this. If you have a problem with me, then tell me. What do you think is the worst that is going to happen?! I'm not going to take out a contract against you!

It just pisses me off that women are so fucking emotional!

The Journey of Comfort

It's been a while since I posted (a whole six days I know!).

I started my new job yesterday - I have a good feeling about it. Like it's going to go well but you know, it's probably just that new starter enthusiasm. It'll wear off by the end of the week I'm sure!

Like I mentioned before - I'm over my crush. OK - so it took a while but I couldn't be happier with where things stand between me and him. He is (bar any male siblings and the ex) my male best friend (MBF).

I can't explain what happened or at which precise moment it happened - getting over him that is. Recently - in the last six months or so, we have become proper close and I know that, that would probably propel some people into developing stronger and more intense feelings for someone. Sure, I went through that. But the more I saw of him, the more I realised that emotionally he's not the one for me. Don't get me wrong. I love him. He's been an absolute legend in my times of need but he's not strong enough to be in a relationship with me (or I'm led to believe). Plus, he's told me too many of his secrets!

So this is how it is now. We share pretty much everything (although some things like how much sex we're having and when we're having it are sacred! - Apparently not so sacred - just had a phone call...). We pretty much have some form of communication every day whether it's a text: him telling me that I'm rubbish or me telling him I love him (he doesn't deal well with my emotions!).

I think what sealed the friendship was what happened the other day. One of my parent's is an alcoholic as I've already mentioned. Last week, things were bad at home. S is usually the person I call in my time of need but even he had managed to annoy me so much more than the parent. I had no one to talk to. I mentioned this fact to the ex crush and he was like "what do you mean?!" and I explained it. It's not easy to talk to people about this. It makes you vulnerable. To which he replied "You can always talk to me. If you ever need me, call. And I have a car. You need time out - let me know."
And it was said in such an affectionate way that my heart couldn't help but melt and I welled up at the thought that he will always be there for me.

I don't know when it became like this. This level of comfort. But I'm so glad it did. You never know where your journey will take you I guess.

To A - my MBF - you know I love you inna?

HOW MUCH?!!

Seriously?!

So it's been a while since I posted (something worthwhile that is!). The last week has been hectic - a night on the tiles over the weekend followed by a funeral are a few of the things that I've had to do. However, this isn't a depressing post so don't worry Gehan!

Today B and I had one of those "free" studio makeover things (FSMT). Firstly, I use the term "free" loosely but secondly if you don't know what a FSMT is; it's when a studio offers to do your hair and make up professionally and then you get professional photos taken by a professional photographer (overuse of the word professional - sorry!).

So off we went - to Covent Garden with a change of 6 outfits between us. On a side note - I love cool crisp Autumn mornings when there isn't a cloud in the sky.... but another post altogether.

Arriving at the studio, we were greeted by their representative who made us feel very welcome, asked us to fill in a few forms about what kinda make up and hair looks we might like to see.
I filled it out mentioning that I would like loose curls. For the record, I have tight corkscrew curls naturally but most often than not wear it straight because it's so much easier to maintain.

Sitting in the chair, the hairdresser curled my hair with straighteners - how crazy is that?! And then it was time for the make up artist to work her magic - believe me, only a miracle would help her! However, she did an awesome job and I didn't look too badly even if I do say so myself! B looked equally as amazing with hot smoky eyes and beautiful backcombed hair!

Time for photos meant lots of outfit changes (well, 3) and a lot of awkward poses. I've been told that my smile is one of my best features so I couldn't help but smile even when he (the photographer) told me not to and to try and look sultry and moody!

After that, it was time to view our photos; a "private viewing" - a chance to see a slide show of all the photos that had been taken. All 65 of them. We did look good. Modest as I am, they did a fab job! Then came the prices.

Lady from FSMT: So if you want all 65 photos onto a disc, that'll cost *punches numbers into calculator*.... £6150.00

B & I: *falling off our chairs* WTF? HOW MUCH?! Lady, is YOU crazy?! We don't look that good.

LfFSMT: OK - well I can bring it down to £2000

B&I: Yeah, that's still not really within our price range!

LfFSMT: *look of "Oh my Lord - am I going to get a sale out of these two?!"* Offers a various number of other "packages"

B and I were resilient to the end (B works in sales - thank God she was there!). In the end, we got 2 prints. Yes, that's right 2 out of 65! We're so poor!

But it was a wonderful experience and because B has been having a rough time lately - it was all mainly for her. And this post is for her - even though she'll never read it! Love ya girly!

P.S. If this blog wasn't anonymous - I'd have posted a pic! :)

The Way It Is

So many draft posts and not in the mood to publish.

I Am Who I Am

I am Tamil and proud.

I am British and proud.

I am Sri Lankan and proud.

I am a girl trying to right the wrongs of the world.

I am the girl who is over her crush.

I am the friend that takes all your shit.

I am the daughter of an alcoholic.

I am the girl who is far too emotional for her own good.

I am the girl that wouldn't change the above statement for anything.

I am the girl that dreams of giving everything up to travel but is scared of not having a regular income.

I am the girl that will not be broken by your continuous put downs.

I am the girl who will catch you if you fall.

I am the true love that you let get away.

I am the avid cloud watcher.

I am the sister that will support you in everything.

I am my own representative.

I am who I am because of everyone. © See the Orange Rock Corps ad!

I decided to write this post because I saw a link on another blog that basically linked to here with the link titled as "The Tamil Community in London". I did leave a comment saying that I think it's unfair that the blog author feels the need to tar all Tamils with the same brush. I am part of the Tamil community in London and these Tamils in no way represent me so how is it "THE" Tamil community in London? It's a small few individuals. Obviously the comment didn't stay up but it is their blog and they are entitled to write and publish whatever they want (as am I).

Giving In

The things with the new guy didn't work out. Oh well. What is meant to be will be I guess. I can't say that it's not disappointing because he was tall and nice enough looking and we did get on quite well. But maybe arranged marriages aren't for me! In all honestly, I'm not even that beat up about it. You know the whole, if you fall off the horse (or is bike?!), you get back on and ride it kinda thing!

That's not where I'm giving in though. I have a hot hot neighbour (C). Seriously, he's so hot(it's clearly been far too long!). He's tall, dark and handsome. So tall - like 6'0! Since I've moved to this street, he's been one of the few people who's actually taken the time out to talk to me. He's actually my friendliest neighbour! At first, I thought it was neighbourly banter. Neighbourly banter turned to harmless flirting. And now harmless flirting has led him to asking me out. You know that whole "You don't shit on your own doorstep" (man, I am full of clichés today!), so I said maybe another time. And that was about a year ago. And yet, still C hasn't given up. That's not my only reason though.

C is of a different ethnicity. And I have always been more skewed towards the idea of engaging in a relationship with someone of the same ethnicity. Purely because I love my culture and my language and I want to share that with someone who'll get it (another post altogether!). So I never ever really considered it. But C is determined I think. So much so that every time I see him, we flirt (I'm good at that!) and he always asks when I'm going to let him take me out and I've always politely declined.

Recently, I've been thinking to myself - maybe I'm asking for too much to find someone who shares my culture and language to love me?! Seriously, if it hasn't worked out so far; well, then maybe I should see what else is on offer?

And this is where I gave in. He asked to take me out so I said yes. I think he was so shocked, he actually didn't believe me! We went to the cinema last night. Did I mention that he's hot?!

I drove. He told me I looked nice and that I smelt good. Brownie points for C (I'm so easily pleased!). He paid for the tickets (I did offer) so I bought the food. We saw Pineapple Express. He was attentive. Listened to what I had to say in the car. He held my hand and didn't try anything (which I take as being gentlemanly!). Gave me his jacket when I mentioned I was cold (hot!) On the drive home, we spoke about religion and our beliefs. Arriving home, we sat in the car just talking about random rubbish.
He was the perfect gentleman and gave me a very beautiful hug as we parted company.

The only thing is now - he knows where I live if it all flops!

Oui/Si/Yes

I'm going away again. Nowhere new but still another trip.

I'm off to New York in December for 6 days with my siblings. Taking advantage of the BA sale - that's me! You got to get it where you can right?

I love New York. It's one of my most favourite places that I've been to. I know it's a big city that multicultural which doesn't make it all that dissimilar to London but there are differences. The fact that I can step onto the street at 4:00 and still find yellow cabs buzzing all around, it's the home of Friends and Ugly Betty, the sights - The Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty and Ground Zero to name but a few and last but by no means least - the accents!

I am a sucker for nice accents. A few that do it for me (and believe me they do!):

• New York(an)
• Chicago(an)
• Toronto(an)
• French - oh dear Lord!
• Spanish
• Welsh

Couple any of these with a tall, dark(or fair), handsome man with manners and a beautiful voice - well I'm pretty much smitten!

Know anyone like that?

I'm So Easy!

Yeah, that's right. I said it - I'm easy.

I give too easily.

I give in too easily.

I give up too easily.

What's wrong with me? Why can't I be more aloof? More stubborn perhaps?

Why do I wear my heart on my sleeve? That makes it prone to getting hurt so much quicker and so easier.

Why do I trust so easily?

Why do I see the best in everyone? Why must they prove to me otherwise and make me question my judgement?

Why am I so easily pleased?

Am I settling? In life? With friends? With love?

Why must people mess with my feelings?

I know I'm easy - I've already said it. But you shouldn't take advantage of that. Not as my family, my friend or even my lover.

Does it? Can it? Could it?

Work that is?

"You're beautiful."

"You can't say things like that - you've only seen some photos!"

"But you talk beautiful and you sound beautiful."

Arranged marriages - do they? Can they? Could they?

Not A Witty Title For A Post But Meh - Who Cares?!

I'm leaving work soon so quickly:

• I got a new job - yay!
• I partied hard on the weekend.
• I danced in the rain yesterday with my siblings.
• As a result of the above, I now have a cold (but so worth it!).
• I think I've met someone new and you know when all those texts and phone calls leave you with a massive smile on your face - yeah, I have one of those!
• I'm thankful for my friends - for caring.
• I have nothing interesting to write about!

Impromptu

There is a lot to be said for impromptu days off. By now you may have gathered that I dislike my job. So much so that I even considered leaving without not having another job to go to (drastic I know but needs must.)!

Yesterday, my manager wasn't in and neither was his secretary. So, I skived off work early. And what did I do? I went and watched a Tamil film (Sathyam) at the cinema with RL.

I love going to the cinema when it's just me and maybe three other people in the cinema. Some of my friends enjoy going on the release dates of films but for me that just doesn't work. The fact that I have to get there early to ensure that I get tickets let alone good seats and then not having any elbow space - yeah, it's not for me!
So there we were yesterday, propped up against each other, legs over the seats in front of us and that complete comfortable silence that needs no explanation.

And what a Tamil film it was. Not because it followed the normal plots of boy meets girl, fall in love, face adversary from parents and all that typical stuff but because it contained a hottie! How hot is Vishal?! I think there was a scene where they ripped the shirt off of his body and usually these scenes make me wince but the lustful "Oh" that left my mouth just shows that I'm in heat (and that is an altogether different post entirely)!

Days that flow with no sense of planning are the best!

Long Weekends - Time to Think

I love it when we get a public holiday. Unfortunately, we're not as lucky as some to have Poya days every month!

Reading 69's post made me reminisce about sex (and how long it has been since I've had any!).

I was 19 when I first had sex. I'd met this guy (S) through a friend and we got to know each other over 6 months before I came to the conclusion that maybe I could trust him and that he wouldn't break my heart. I was young and naïve and clearly overwhelmed that somebody could be interested in me!

It's difficult to determine at which point a couple go from "getting to knowing each other" to actually "becoming a couple". I mean, when I was younger (more so than I already am!), it was simple. A simple "will you go out with me?" would suffice and you'd either become one half of the newest couple in your circle of friends or you'd have a bruised ego for a while.

So, I don't know at which point we exactly became a couple but we did. I'd heard all the stories and read all the teenage girly magazines that said you shouldn't be pressured into having sex, that you should wait until you're really ready and all that other "advice".

I remember it so well. Maybe because it was my first relationship. My first real boyfriend. Someone who wanted to be with me because of who I am - not what I could give them or how quickly they could get into my pants! The honeymoon period - where whatever you say doesn't fall on deaf ears, where kissing is still not underrated, where holding hands is appreciated because any kind of body contact still manages to send your libido into overdrive(!) and where those late night phone calls can last until the early hours of the morning. Even when you sleep for only 3 hours and they're still the first person you call!

We'd been together officially for about a month before I decided that I wanted to sleep with him. I think that I already knew I wanted to, but the logistics of it all (when, where and ultimately how?!) were what had me a lil' worried.
A few weeks later, it was his birthday and so we decided to spend the night together. He never pressured me into anything which is why I think I felt all the more comfortable. I'm not going to sit here and type all the details of it. There isn't any need for it. But I remember it so well. And I remember how he made me a cup of tea when we woke up and how he looked after me. How he made me feel - wanted, desired, loved, safe and so much more!

We were together for 2 years officially and about 3 years on and off after that and unofficially. We stopped talking about two months ago and it's a lot tougher than I thought it would be - especially when I have time to think about things like the above!

The Great in Britain

There aren't too many thing that Britain are good at. I mean - you only have to look at our constituent states (England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland) and their football teams to know that we're a tad rubbish. Our cricket team don't fare too badly but it's so few and far between. And we're pretty much rubbish at most other sports!

This is why I love the Olympics - because it's gives the underdog nations a chance to show the world what they're good at. OK - so it's in China and we should have all boycotted it blah, blah, blah.... But it's such good entertainment!

I'm so impressed with Team GB. So much so that I've decided that I'm going to be nicer to all the cyclists on the road! Seriously!

I've been engrossed with Beijing 2008 since the opening ceremony. I mean - how on earth is London going to pull off anything half as good to compete against that?!
I've enjoyed watching the swimming and gymnastics (have you seen the bodies of the men?! Michael Phelps can swim with me anytime!) not to mention that I'm looking forward to the rest of the athletics - Usain Bolt's 200m dash and as always the 4x100m relay!

This isn't really a post that's meant to summarise the Olympics but just one that says I'm happy for Team GB. Third in the medal table and hopefully that's how we'll end it. Even if we don't - GB still smashed it! :)

Doing So Well

I was doing so well. Moving on with stuff. Even getting my life into gear perhaps.

I accepted what I'd known for months - I hate my job. And rather than suffer (and believe me, it's a slow and painful suffering!), I became very pro active and started looking and applying for new jobs. I had an interview and several rejections. Which I didn't take too badly. Why? Because I decided that if I hadn't found a new job by December (which is only 3 months away), that I would go travelling for 3 months or so. Where? Central/South America. I think my desire to travel and do my own thing is becoming quite overwhelming so I need to get it out of my system. Especially since the 'rents are telling to me go and get married. Sometimes, I wish it would be easier if they just found me someone!

It's easier said than done as well. I mean - I'm not high maintenance and in a city where the population is about 8 million, how can I not find a tall, handsome man?! I was doing so well as well - I haven't spoken to S for about 6 weeks (big deal for us!) and I thought I was getting over my crush but after Saturday night, it seems as though all I did was try and bury my feelings. It's not like he's a great catch but he's fun. The best thing about a night out is getting food afterwards. And that's what we did - and we chatted for about 3 hours. I've missed him. We hadn't spoken like this for a while and it made me see why I did/do (I'm just as confused as you are!) have feelings for him.
I thought all was lost. I mean, I'd been doing so well. But I saw him yesterday as well and I realised why I am trying to get him out of my system - because he's an asshole! And asshole behaviour is not attractive - despite men thinking that most women fall for the asshole bad boy types!

Don't get me wrong - I appreciate what I've got - an amazing family, some of the bestest friends, a job (even if it is shit!) that pays and more. But sometimes I want the companionship that's offered from a relationship. Is that too much to ask?

That wasn't...

My 50th post!

Apparently this one is! Well, that was a bit lame wasn't it?!

Anyways - I have a job interview next week. I haven't told my current employers that I'm looking for a new job. Should I? I don't have the heart to mention it just yet. My line manager is lovely but my job is driving me insane! :(

Memories Are

• Star gazing on a roof top terrace in Cuba and seeing shooting stars.
• Playing Macgyver in my aunt's back garden and crawling through the hole in the fence - times when getting covered in dirt didn't matter!
• My brother and sister thinking that flashing lights from oncoming vehicles in Nuwera Eliya (in the mountains) were strikes of lightning!
• Late night phone calls to that someone special.
• Getting ready with the girls for a night out.
• Building the shed with Appa.
• Family barbecues.
• Sandwiched between Amma and Chithy on a trans-Atlantic flight.
• Laughing at random Tamil films.
• All 5 friends in one car getting road rage.
• Driving around a roundabout the wrong way in a foreign country.
• Water fights at the height of Summer randomly in parks/streets!
• Bouncy castles at Winter balls.
• Backstreet Boys concerts.
• Getting a foot massage in a cab (not from the driver!) after a night out.
• Walking in the rain.
• Reaching my 50th post!

Where I'm From

I don't know if it's happened to you but it has to me. Not so much now though.

When I was younger (bear in mind, I'm still only in my 20's) - school, high school and university, people always asked me where I'm from. New people, not those who'd known me for years. Those who had known me for years asking this usually meant that they were questioning my life form!

But you know, it happens right. When you're first introduced to people - the question comes up. My answer? "I'm English". Because I am. The confused look on their face leads me to elaborate because I don't look like a typical English(wo)man (though what a typical English(wo)man looks like is in the eye of the beholder!). So then I tell them that my parents are from Sri Lanka.
"So you're Sri Lankan?"
"Well, my parents are Sri Lankan. I'm English - born and brought up in London."

Am I wrong? I'm not saying I'm not Sri Lankan. I'm of Sri Lankan origin. It's my ethnicity and most things about me screams Sri Lankan but I am English. Maybe people should be more specific in their questioning?

It doesn't seem to happen so much nowadays. I've noticed that as I've got older - I tend to meet more Sri Lankans. Maybe it's because nearly all (yes, all 10 of) my friends are Sri Lankan. Do people of the same culture/ethnicity flock together as they get older?

The Light

At the end of the tunnel is starting to shine.

With regards to this - he asked me to be his sponsor. Initially, I had no clue what he was on about - but he's been to two GA meetings so far (2/2 weeks is good!). Apparently - he needs a sponsor. And the role of the sponsor is that whenever he feels the urge to gamble, he has to call me and I have to read some stuff out of this book that GA have given to him (and he will give to me).
This makes me smile. A lot. The fact that he's realised that it's not just about the money he's lost but the time, the missed opportunities, the disappointment of parents and so much more - I have faith in him.