Twenty Ten

Are you going to say "Two thousand and ten" or "twenty ten"?

Two thousand and nine (coz let's face it - no one said twenty o nine!) hasn't been great but it hasn't been bad.

I have poured my heart out on this blog. And I can only tell you that twenty ten (coz that's how I'm going to say it!) will probably consist of the same. In fact, my first angst ridden post will probably be written tomorrow telling you the antics of my alcoholic parent!

For me, the lows of the last year have been eased in the knowledge that there are strangers out there - bloggers in fact that take the time to read, comment and just have a spare thought for me.

Thank you.

But now for a new year and a new decade, I hope that you have a good one.

And So It Is Christmas

You know how sometimes people get confused. I am one of those people. And the sometimes means more than often.

Raised as a Hindu, educated by the Church of England, best friends with a Muslim and from a country where Buddhism is the majority religion and a scientist by profession means that I am more than liberal with my religious values!

Christmas in the West has evolved so fast. So much thought goes into food and presents as opposed to the celebration of the birth of Christ.

I went to a carol service a few days ago. A very simple one. I like carol services. The singing of carols takes me back to when I was a child and I used to sing with great gusto as I played an angel or king or shepherd - even Mary once in my school Nativity play!

But this is not about that. The Father of the small chapel in his sermon gave me a lot to think about which I want to mention here in my own lil' way.

I'm not preaching but for all of you out there that have been taken in by all the presents and the lights and the food, please try to remember that there are those out there that are less fortunate than yourselves. Those who have had a tough year. Those who won't be receiving gifts. Those who have lost loved ones. Those who can't afford to lay on a grandeur meal. Those who won't have a roof over their heads this Christmas amongst so many other reasons that I could list.

I just want you to take some time out and spare a thought for them and how if you haven't this year, think about how maybe next year you, I and we could help them. Because as much as we all like to receive, receiving a smile and knowing you made a difference (no matter how small) is the best gift!

Merry Christmas people.

Scrumps, x

A Snow Filled Thought

I know the title doesn't make any sense. But because it's Christmas - I don't care.

The weather here has been somewhat awful to say the least. Don't get me wrong, I love snow. I love it when I know that I am safe inside the confines of my own home and I don't need to go out and that when I do have to go out, hopefully it'll all have melted away and it will be safe to walk on the pavements without fear of slipping over and hurting myself!

Yesterday though I was at work and the snow fall from the weekend had yet to disperse and what was left of it had turned to a sludgy slushy ice fest. Sitting in my office counting down the hours until I could go home, I saw snow start to fall. Not only falling but actually settling. Crap is what I initially thought to myself because I knew that driving home would be a nightmare.

I decided then that I would try and leave half an hour early in a bid to get home within a reasonable time. 45 minutes later, I am still on the same road. The road that I had parked on. The road which usually takes me 2 minutes to get across!

In all it took me three and a half hours to get home. A journey that usually takes me an hour. I'm just happy that I got home safe. I saw one car turn a corner at about 5mph and the back end of his car just kept going and he ended up hitting two parked cars. Poor guy.

Despite some crazy drivers (seriously - it's snowing! We're all driving at 10mph but yet you seem to want to drive past us at 20 and try and cut us all up!), sometimes you see things that redeem your faith in human kindness. Cars were struggling to drive uphill, and I saw people (pedestrians/passenger of other cars) all helping to push those that were stuck and having helped one car, come back and help another. And all this despite the mini snow storm type thing that was going on.

Made me smile.

Done

I'm out.

Seriously.

Being friends with you.

Wondering what if.

Expecting so much.

Receiving so little.

Trying so often.

What she said is true.

The good days are good.

The bad days are bad.

But the good days aren't worth it any more.

This heart will not be on this sleeve for you any longer.

We're done.

Arrivals

My brother is back. Yay! :)


Airports are funny places. My heart is worn so openly on my sleeve that it will come as no surprise that I don't deal with departures well. But it surprised even me when I felt myself getting emotional over arrivals.

Terminal 5 at Heathrow is amazing. It's so big and spacious and is a testament to...... big and spacious things!

As I stood there waiting for my brother, I watched the people surrounding me. Those that had constructed "Welcome Home" placards for their loved ones, the parents eagerly awaiting the return of their well travelled child, the husbands awaiting their wives amongst so many others.

But what brought a tear to my eye was when I saw a child run up to his mother as she walked out of the arrival doors. As she swept him up in her arms, it made me feel all warm inside. So much so that I actually welled up! Maybe I'm getting broody (Eeeeek!).

The worst part was when I realised that I was wearing my heart a lil' too openly on my sleeve and I had to mentally will myself to not cry when my brother arrived!

Arrivals really is quite emotional. More so than departures I think!

Absence Heart Fonder

They say that absence makes the heart fonder. They also say that out of sight, out of mind.

Very contradictory if you ask me. I guess it applies to the individual in question.

Why am I rambling you ask?

Because my brother went to San Francisco this morning as part of his geography field trip (I clearly did the wrong degree!) and I miss him already. He's only been gone 12 hours!

God I'm so lame!

Props

The new header image thingy - you see it?

Courtesy of ~ lo$t $oul ~ who clearly has too much time on his hands but is using it very wisely! Props to you!

Thank you! It was a very sweet gesture. :)

Vivid

Dreams. How many of us have them? Or more to the point; how many of us actually remember having them?

I am not a big dreamer. In fact I hardly think I have dreams (or I do but I don't remember them!) and when I do dream, I wake up thinking I need to tell somebody but in all honesty forget it within about 3 minutes!

But this morning I had a dream which was quite vivid and it really disturbed me.

For some strange reason, I was at a parade maybe. To begin with I was with friends and we were walking down a leafy path and it was dark - the street lights were switched on so it clearly was late in the evening. I remember seeing a girl I used to be friends with and her (now) husband but she was in traditional wedding attire as was he. I remember walking over to them (thinking "WTF?!") and asking if they were going to have the ceremony later on that evening. And she replied that they were getting married straight after the parade. At that point, her bridesmaids came over (people that I really don't talk to!) and I made polite conversation before excusing myself to catch up with my friends.

At this point, even my dream went into slow motion - you know when you're watching it all happening thinking "WTF?!". One of the bridesmaids grabbed me just as I was about to walk away and pulled me away from a guy who was approaching me (us) and said to me - "Stay away from him - he's trouble!". I have no idea who the guy was but I recognised him in the dream as someone who I've seen out at random Lankan parties.

Next thing I know, the scene gets all fast and furious-ey on me. A bunch of people run past us clearly chasing a skinny young boy. And then the parade kinda turns into this mass hooligan group some of who are jeering at the chasing group to "Get him. Get him" which I can only assume relates to the boy. Myself, I forage my way to the front of the mass of the hooligan group as I'm screaming "leave him!". What I was planning to do, I have no idea! Would I have thrown myself between the boy and the chasing group? Seriously?!

But I get to the front of the crowd and I see that there is a body on fire on the floor rolling around screaming.

And then my alarm went off! It's disturbed me so much and I really don't know why! Compared to this dream which seems peachy in comparison!

Not So Musically Challenged.

I have just booked tickets for WWE RAW April 2010 baby!! It's going to be awesome!



(I have such lil' money though!)

To Be 16 Again

I was tagged by our favourite Jack following the most recent tag to hit the blogosphere: A letter to your sweet 16.

Dearest Fudge (lame ass nickname that I will discuss below!)

Firstly – your life is not over because your parents are not letting you go on the water sports trip to Spain. You won’t “hate them forever” and you’ll find out that it wasn’t as good as the one that you went on when you were 14 (clearly because you weren’t there!).

Now just because your high school crush has decided to give you the nickname “Fudge”, it is NOT cool! Try to move away from that identity. Talking of your crush, yes, he is beautiful and yes he will be the first guy you take home to meet your parents. And he will have exemplary behaviour when he meets your dad but it won’t work out. After all, you’re 16 and you both move on.

Keep studying. I know at the moment it seems like people are taking advantage of you being one of the few that completes their homework but it will pay off. You will earn the label of being a “cool geek” (and yes, such a thing is possible!) – be proud. There are not many people who could pull it off like you can. Don’t regret not taking history and think carefully about your A-Level choices. Chemistry is a given and maths is something you grow to love but biology?! Definitely reconsider that option. But if you don’t do it, you miss out on the field trip with the hottest Tamil boy you will probably ever come to meet! Try not to let your hormones rule your head! (What am I am saying?! You’re 16; your hormones will definitely rule your head!)

Your parents will decide that you need to move house. Don’t fret about losing your friends. You stay at the same school and keep your friends. Talking of friends – there will be a whole lot of drama that you need to deal with. Your role of playing the agony aunt; the confidant; remains the same up until the point at which I write this letter to you. You will go through teenage abortions (Don’t freak out – not yourself personally!), student – teacher trysts amongst other illegal issues you swear yourself to secrecy.

The move will open your eyes to all things Sri Lankan. You will move to a part of London where there are considerably more Tamils than where you currently live. And yes, random Tamil guys will try and follow you home but walking faster does not help you avoid them!
Think twice before beeping that horn at that cute Tamil guy. He’s only after one thing and you’re not going to give it to him. And he’ll only make your life hell once you reject him.

You may think that the age gap between your siblings and you will cause you all to never understand each other but you will see in time that they become your biggest support and helping hands. Your parents surprisingly become a lot more understanding. Lie to your parents about clubbing. What they don't know won't hurt them. You'll be surprised at how good you get at this!

When you’re taking that driving test – do not speed up in the left hand lane – you aren’t “supposed” to overtake on the left and it takes a lot to convince the driving examiner that that’s not what you were doing!

Don’t think you’re not beautiful. You may not have the interest that your peers may have from boys but believe me it’s for the best. You will meet that special somebody and he will (at the time) be a cut above the rest and you will be glad you waited. Not just for the relationship but also for the sex! The sex. Phew. Thank yourself that you didn’t have sex at 16. No way were you mature enough to handle the emotional-ness (yes that’s a word) that comes with doing “it”! And that special somebody will make you feel so unbelievably special whilst doing “it” that you are thankful that you didn’t succumb to all those who attempted to get into your panties!

Take the job at the bookies – no matter how daunting it might sound. It will help you learn to love yourself and your new found confidence changes who you will become. Flirt to your heart's content – you will know where to draw the line.

You will lose the tom-boy of who you are and despite not becoming the essence of femininity, you learn to use what you have to your advantage (the flirting once again) and become super emotional. Don’t hide that. Make use of your boobs. Flashing a lil' bit of that cleavage leaves a lot to the imagination and gets you served at the bar a lot quicker!

Travel. Travel as much as you can afford to. Your first trip away with the girls introduces you to B. She will become a rock in your life. Never be afraid to try out new things and make sure you do the sky dive! You'll know what I mean!

And last but by no means least, wear your heart on your sleeve and smile. Whatever happens makes you who you are.

With all my love
Lloyd (your new and much cooler nickname!)
x

P.S. Start a blog! It will become a part of your life that you will grow to treasure!

Apologies for the length - clearly I had a lot to tell myself at 16!

I hereby tag Santhoshi and Pseudo. And whoever else wants to do it (sorry RD - had to change the rules slightly!).
ETA: And tagging Angel! :)

Musically Challenged - Deux

I am going to see the Backstreet Boys tonight.

Yes, I'm bad!

Yes, you can ridicule me as much as you want.

Yes, I will not take any notice.

Yes, Backstreet is back!

Musically Challenged

You know that there are some songs that are great to get jiggy to?


I've just listened to an entire album's worth!

SERIOUSLY?!

Seriously.

Why do you feel the need to wait until the traffic light has turned green, remained green for 3 seconds before you decide that you should probably put your car into gear, release the handbrake and check your mirrors before you make any movement? By which point the traffic light has turned to red again and yours has been the only car to move?!

WHY you stupid ass in front of me?!

Again

I haven't posted the happiest stuff recently and it's not likely to get better any time soon. How many more times can my heart get broken? You think I would have realised by now that putting myself emotionally out there will only result in more tears. But I am not that strong. What you see is the way that I feel. And you might think that when your heart is broken and the hurt begins to stop that your heart is fixed. But it's not. It just temporarily been duct taped together to break once more. More easily. And it hurts just as much each time.

To The Grave

There are some things that you can never ever ever tell anybody.

Your family. Your best friends. Not even your trusted blog.

Things with you that you take to your grave.

The Darkside

Thank you for your email this morning.

Numbers

Sometimes I think that my family would be better off being a family of 4....

Give & Take

You know when you give and you give and you give? And they take and they take and they take?

And you have nothing left to give and yet they still try to take?

Yeah.

Screening

Just exactly how are they doing it at Menik Farm?*


*Serious question I swear...

Shallow

Is not something I'd say that I am.

But yesterday a hot guy who I thought was younger than me (which would have made it wrong for me to think about him in any attraction respect) and then actually found out that he was/is older than me played football with my sibling.

And not only being attractive (Phew!), he drives a very very nice looking car. I don't know enough about cars but even my brother was impressed!

Not that this makes a difference but why is it that guys with nice cars (even if they are not that attractive) become just that lil' bit more so?!*

*Shallow? Moi?!

India - Finally!

I did manage to keep some kind of daily journal whilst I was there but rather than expose you to my (crappy) handwriting, I'm going to type it out. It'll be in a few parts so if you are remotely interested - please try and read them in order in the hope that they'll make some sense!

"Never again" I vowed to myself about 14 years ago. Never again will I travel on this bloody airline but what to do when they offer the cheapest fare to your destination of choice?! In times of credit crunching, you can't afford to be picky right? And so the journey begins at London Heathrow airport (LHR) with the captain announcing that there'll be a 45 minute delay due to air clearance (or something that sounds remotely aeronautically technical!) over Brussels!

I inwardly groan at the fact that I am putting myself through this again (my first experience with this airline started with a 5 hour delay!). As the plane finally takes off, I consider the journey that lays ahead of me - dosas, temples and a country that closely resembles SL. The flight itself is uneventful - a lil' turbulence to scare me slightly, the food leaving a lot to be desired and Krispy Kreme donuts purchased at LHR that I am thankful for!

Now ours was not a direct flight. Hell that's why it was so cheap! (LHR - Mumbai - Chennai) So imagine my concern when the captain announces a delay in landing - especially since we have another flight to catch!

Disembarking from the plane at Mumbai, the first thing that hits me (quite literally!) is the smell - it's not good! After that, it's the sense of panic that we might miss our connecting flight. This is clearly the same feeling as many of the other passengers leaving the plane who are barging past me with their hand luggage. Some that resembles the size of my hold luggage!!

The organisational skills of staff at Mumbai airport leave me somewhat bewildered (no point getting stressed!). I am very British in my ways - queuing is not beyond me yet as a Tamil, I know what to expect amongst other South Asians. I felt very sorry for the Caucasian people who were on their first trip to the country!

With 15 minutes until the departure of my connecting flight, I make it to the boarding gate. I get on the bus thingy that is going to take me to the aircraft. The temperature outside is apparently 30 degrees (I landed at 2:30 in the morning!) so I'm aghast as to what it might be during the day! I stand on this bus for about half an hour roasting as more and more people are piled on. BUT far from being stressed or annoyed, I'm loving it!

Our flight to Chennai leaves 45 minutes after our scheduled time and we manage to safely arrive at our final destination. A further 40 minutes as our temperatures are scanned by a scary looking gun type thing (36.6) in a bid to contain swine flu. And finally I manage to collect my bags and leave Chennai airport.

Apologising profusely to the driver who's come to pick us up, I soak in the lights as we drive to the hotel. As competent as I am in Tamil, the difference between South Indian Tamil and the Jaffna Tamil spoken at home left me asking him to repeat what he was saying at least twice! I agree to whichever hotel he suggests seeing as all I wanted some sleep.

I am clearly a closet freshie at heart because nothing (except the smell slightly) seems to faze me!

The first two days are spent exploring Chennai and it's surrounding areas before we start our crazy temple tour.

The highlight for me is Mahabalipuram. The ancient rocks carvings with such intrinsic detail leave me somewhat in awe.

Apologies for all the text and lack of photos in this post. The next few will be photos and less text!

Uncomfortable...

Is when you re-meet someone you've met in passing (an acquaintance/friend of a friend) and they hug you for far much longer than they need to!

Is when you've had a date that went well but with no spark and the guy tries to kiss you and you have to try and politely brush him off.

Is when your hot neighbour constantly asks you out every time he see you and you start to run out of excuses.

Is being caught in the middle of friendship crises.

So yeah, I had a date, my hot neighbour is just not letting it go, my friends are being lame and I was caught up in a rather uncomfortable hugging moment!

Feel free to add your own!

And Gutter: I am going to get around to it - I promise!

iPhone

I have one and I don't really know how to use it!

It's all very technical and the manual they give you with it is SHIT!

Technology is moving so damn fast and I am getting left waaaaaaaaaaaaay behind!

Tags that make you think

There is something to be said about the "tag-fests" that ensue within my lil' blogging world. As much as I love being tagged (the sense of inclusion), it makes me think faaaar more than I want to!

Thank you to Santhoshi and Dili for tagging me - here goes!

Love is:

• A comfortable silence.
• Playing Guitar Hero with siblings.
• Tears with no explanations.
• Your male best friend texting you every other day whilst you are away asking when you're coming back!
• Always being your parents' little girl.
• No morning after regrets on a wild night out with your best friend.
• Holding back the hair and back rubbing as you throw up after a wild night out!
• Late night pillow talks.
• 1 Corinthians: 13

And let the tag fest continue (if you've already been tagged - apologies!):

Kalu, Gehan, Zé Doc and Rine.

Cliques

No matter how hard you (I) try, you (I) just won't ever be a part of it.

Their loss.

The Happenings

What is it about men who can play a musical instrument and/or sing that just makes them so damn HOT talented?! I may have met the hottest most talented guy I know (no it wasn't Mr Darkside - sorry Gehan!) on my recent trip but more about that later.

I am back from India and have a whole load of posts and blogs to catch up on. Those who have been blogging far too often - geeee thanks! I have to read all your posts and comments to get some small idea of what's been going on. Those of you who haven't - I couldn't love you more! :)

And I go away for 4 weeks and so much happens - bloody hell! Especially when there's been a wedding! Congratulations Isheeta! :)

India review/photos coming very shortly.

Update from India

This is going to be a very quick post with no sentence structure, poor grammar and crappy spellings!

I have another 10 minutes before my internet time runs out!

Reached Chennai in the middle of the night (3:00 AM ish) about 10 days ago. The temperature was about 30 degrees! CRAZY! It only got hotter during the day!

Started touring the temples (you got to love my Amma!). Roughly - the trip was something along the lines of Chennai - Trichy - Madurai - Kanyakumari - and currently in Kovalam (Kerala).
Kerala is beautiful! And the people are so nice! And the shopping is awesome! :)

I met this beautiful lil' boy with the best smile ever! Photos when I get a chance to upload them!

Less Blogging

In 72 hours, I will be in a departure lounge waiting for my flight to be announced.

Destination: Tamil Nadu - India.

I can not wait!

My friend from high school is getting married out there so I thought I'd go (I was invited!) and make the most of it. I have never been to India before so am extremely excited.

Whilst making my way through Chennai, Madurai, Bangalore, Pondicherry (not to mention all the other lil ' villages!) and last but not least Kerala before I arrive at the destination of the wedding, I will be taking an infinite amount of (rubbish) photos but it's going to be great! And the pound is not doing so badly against the Indian rupee! I think that I may be more excited about the food more so than anything else!

4 weeks of limited blogging and blog reading but oh so worth it!

Work Rant!

I hate where I fucking work on Mondays and Tuesdays!

So fucking much!

And my brother is covering for me whilst I am away for 4 weeks - poor thing!

They're just so fucking lame!

Confession

I finally told A that I had a crush on him (at one stage).

May that ghost finally rest in peace and now RL can lay her cards on the table with him and stop blaming me for the break up of their friendship!

So much unnecessary fucking drama!

Musings

The sun has started to fade now. People are reverting back to not smiling and everyone is starting to look that lil' more miserable! It was fun while it lasted.


My sister walked into my room last night just as I was about to fall asleep saying that there was a car on fire in the alleyway behind our house. Cue my brother, mum and I rushing to the back house windows to see what was going on. "Call the fire brigade!" says Amma. I do as she says and am told that they've already been informed and the fire brigade are on their way. 10 minutes later and still no sign or sound of fire engines. The fire has now caught onto the wooden fence of a house 4 doors away from ours. "Oh shit - it might spread to our fence! Thambi (lil' brother), go and get the hose ready!" my sister says. Me and brother stare at her thinking probably the same thing: How are we supposed to tackle a fire?! With our hosepipe? The water barely trickles out!
I put on some jogging bottoms and go outside the front of the house to warn the neighbour - an elderly gentleman whose wife has not been very well of late. No one is answering and in our lil' cul-de-sac there is a small amount of panic. "Where is he?" I hear someone ask. "I think he is away" another voice replies. Inwardly, I breathe a sigh of relief but don't want to imagine him coming home to find his back fence burnt out.
After what seems an age, I hear the sirens getting closer - another neighbour directing the fire fighters towards the alleyway and the fire which is now spreading slightly (albeit a slowly!). I see residents from the opposite side of the alleyway - windows open and heads hanging out.
The crackling and popping of the car burning scare the life out of me - unexpected each time.
I hear the firefighters trying to contain the fire - and the sprinkle of drops from the backlash of the hose. Slowly but surely the fire is being extinguished and dark smoke billows into the already dark sky.
Everyone returns to what they were doing - the show over.
"A lil' late for that now!" I hear my brother say as the sound of falling rain takes over the sound of burning metal.


Ticket for India which I thought was booked may now have flopped and I may have to rebook and pay a more extortionate price. But it's all for a friend's wedding - and 4 weeks away from work has got to be worth it


Hen party at the weekend was interesting. Quickest way to learn about people is to play drinking games - especially "I have never" which always seems to get sexual!


Have guys lost the ability to chat up girls? Not wanting to stereotype or tar everyone with the same brush because I know this is a small minority. Walking home after a night out - a car drives past. It's passengers - young South Asian guys. "Yo, yo, yo, yo" - no one from the group answers. "Yo man - you in the pink. The girl in the pink. Yoooooooooooooooooooooooo" And yet despite this clear display of chivalry(!), still no one answers. And how do they deal with their somewhat bruised ego? Throw a bottle of water at said group of girls and then drive off (I'm pretty sure that I will get (anonymous) comments saying that it was probably deserved for coming across so stuck up but so be it!)! Further along I see the same thing - a group of guys hanging outside the windows of their car. "Yo yo yo" and girls giggling despite themselves and entertaining these chavs! Seriously?!


And I need to sort out my bloody visa to India!

Good Weather

The thing about good weather is everyone looks beautiful. More cyclists come out and I sit and swoon at the calf muscles on display. I guess the weather being this good does have some perks!

Wooooo Hoooooooooooo!

Could I ask for anything better?!

A Legend

Many today will wake up with a feeling of disbelief. The death of Michael Jackson is something unexpected. Despite for all his failing health, I honestly thought that I'd get to hear the reviews of his 50 date sell out tour.

As I sit, write and read the obituaries - I can't help my eyes welling up. Entertaining the masses since the age of 5 - a legend in his own right. My memories of me watching you wide eyed avoiding trying to blink so not to miss anything will remain with me for a long long time.

RIP MJ - August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

Definitions

Holier than thou or another definition of it here

Righteous

Interesting......

The Same Record!

I am sick and tired of having to defend the Tamil Diaspora! Seriously! I am a member of the Tamil Diaspora so why are people tarring me with the same brush?! You don't know what my feelings are! Like by association is not acceptable (in my humble opinion) but what to do. Before I joined the gospel of all blogs Sri Lankan(!) - I was much more optimistic in my approach to the views of Tamils by the majority Sinhalese but reading some blogs, I wonder if maybe I was being too kind? But then how does that make me any different to them?! Good job then that I know that the views that I read are not of the majority of the population of SL but maybe that's (thankfully) due to my Tamil Diaspora mentality - being able to differentiate between opinions!

*rant over*

On a side note - as I was travelling on the underground the other day, the man sitting next to me (around 40 years old) took a camera out of his bag. Whilst pretending that he was "looking" through his photos, he discreetly took a photo of the woman who was sitting opposite him. Now this woman was not provocatively dressed, nor was she stunning - she was an attractive, moderately dressed woman aged about 26 ish.

My dilemma was if I should tell her. Quick text to A to ask for his opinion as I was coming up to my stop. "YES." comes the reply. So just as I was about to get off, I said to her that the man opposite her had taken a photo of her. She questioned him and he replied saying that he hadn't taken a photo of her but of the scenery behind her! Oh really?! Come on - as the tube is whizzing past, there's not much you might be able to get in to a photo AND I saw the picture - there's no scenery - just the woman.

Did I do the right thing? What are the laws (if any) about this? It's a bit worrying that this can happen and that most people just sit and not say anything to avoid confrontations!

And on a complete and utter side note I am meeting Pseudo tomorrow. SO NER - take that the regular meet up people at open mic nights or in and around Colombo (you know who you are)!! Hater? Me?! Never! :-P

I Am Officially A Geek!

And proud of it too!

And I didn't need to take one of those quizzes to prove it!

Why? Because the first link I clicked on as I logged onto the BBC News website this morning was this one! And my reaction was "That is awesome!".

Such a geek! :)

Can You Blame Them?!

Following the recent events in SL, the Tamil Diaspora have been labelled a lot of things and many have been unsympathetic towards the actions of the GoSL but what do they expect when they do this?

It is said that actions speak louder than words and despite the cargo of the ship having been confirmed, yet by turning back this aid, what message are the GoSL sending to the Tamil Diaspora or indeed the Tamils that require this aid in the IDP camps?

Every day I see campaign after campaign from aid agencies asking for donations to help solve the humanitarian crisis in Sri Lanka. Surely every little bit should help?!

I understand that the maybe the correct measures were not taken in order to receive the vessel but surely any and all the help should be accepted and embraced? That is, if their primary concern is for the safety of those in the IDP camps.....

The FAT Guy

No need for polite formalities now!

The fat guy said no. NO! Apparently he's not ready for marriage! Seriously?! So why the fuck are your parents looking? Maybe they were just being polite?! Maybe I just look like a hideous under the bridge kind of troll? Maybe it just wasn't meant to be?! Clearly my ego has taken a lil' bit of a bashing which my beautiful neighbour and Tylor more than made up for (thank you!) but still - rejection is a biatch!

Well, at least I don't have to worry about carting him off to the gym!

Anyways B is going on a "date" tonight and below follows our lil' email excerpt of the day!

Seriously though - sometimes I wonder at our single-dom

As always - read from the bottom up! :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: B [mailto:b@work.com]
Sent: 01 June 2009 14:33
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE:

Eeeeew bad visuals!!! And no I think your an amazing kisser...er that sounds so wrong but if you kiss like you dance....Giiiiirl you got moves :o)

From: Scrumpy [mailto:scrumpy@work.co.uk]
Sent: 01 June 2009 14:36
To: B
Subject: RE:

Lol. But that can improve right?
Maybe I’m the lame kisser?!
Maybe he was nervous?
Maybe I’m just so used to S and his kissing techniques (image you don’t need I know!) that I AM OFFICIALLY LAME!

From: B [mailto:b@work.com]
Sent: 01 June 2009 14:30
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE:

No your not cos he is a lame kisser remember!!

From: Scrumpy [mailto:scrumpy@work.co.uk]
Sent: 01 June 2009 14:33
To: B
Subject: RE:

I can’t even get someone out of pity!
I’m just going to go out with my neighbour! :S

From: B [mailto:b@work.com]
Sent: 01 June 2009 14:27
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE:

Lol you didn’t want him anyway....you were just being polite, which is more then he deserved...iiiiidddddddiiiiiyat!!

From: Scrumpy [mailto:scrumpy@work.co.uk]
Sent: 01 June 2009 14:30
To: B
Subject: RE:

And if all else fails – remember. I got rejected by a FAT guy!

From: B [mailto:b@work.com]
Sent: 01 June 2009 14:23
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE:

Lol this is why you are my best friend and I love you!! I wish you could come with me!! Ok so call me at 8pm and if I dont pick up that means its going well. If I do you may have to come rescue me....x

From: Scrumpy [mailto:scrumpy@work.co.uk]
Sent: 01 June 2009 14:26
To: B
Subject: RE:

Don’t be nervous! You are beautiful and any man would be lucky to have you. Remember – no pressure. It’s just drinks with a random.
At best – it leads to marriage!
At worst – you never have to see the weirdo again!
And you’ve been through worse my lovely!

From: B [mailto:b@work.com]
Sent: 01 June 2009 13:48
To: Scrumpy
Subject: RE:

Lol nope i am really nervous :o(

From: Scrumpy [mailto:scrumpy@work.co.uk]
Sent: 01 June 2009 13:51
To: B
Subject:

Are you ready?! (Said in Gladiator-esque tone!)

The 5 Word Taggy

I was tagged by Pseudo (bless her heart!) and basically we have to write 5 words about how we feel about the recent events in Sri Lanka so here goes!

1. Anger

2. Relief

3. Disheartened

4. Hope

5. Concern

I'm not going to follow the rules and tag 5 other people because everyone has pretty much been tagged. I'm also not doing what a majority of people have done and give an explanation of why they've chosen their words but am willing to do so if anyone really wants to know! :)

Chicken Pieces

Which do you prefer?

Breast?

Thighs?

Legs?

Ass?

Surely you know what kind of chicken pieces I mean by now?!

And I'm not just asking the males.....

I'm always usually jealous of a chicken's legs coz I hate mine!

*And is it so wrong that I love reading the Padashow?! (And no doubt I will now get pwned by it!)

Awkward Silences

You know when you work in a building for long enough that you can recognise people and they recognise you but you never acknowledge each other because you don't work in the same department or you haven't been formally introduced to them so you don't feel it's "right" to say hello or smile or even make eye contact (you know - walk past with your eyes glued to the floor and hope they didn't see you/recognise you and hope for the best that you don't walk into something!)?! Yeah those moments suck.

But what about when you're in an elevator (lift) with them. What do you do then?!

It's difficult isn't it? I guess it wouldn't be so bad if it was a person that was at least Jack Point a mega hottie and you could fantasise about illicit elevator activities* (if you have enough floors to have a good attempt at least!)!

There's only so long that you can stand in silence before one of you tries to make trivial conversation. Just when you thought the awkwardness couldn't get any better - it does!

*So I'm horny - sue me!

Disbelief!

My parents have been looking for a groom for me. That's fine. I can deal with that. I mean, what do I have to lose right? Besides, it's whichever one comes first and right now - the suitors lining up my door (all two of them) are not really prospective grooms. So I'm letting Amma and Appa (but mainly Amma!) do what they need to do. And also, arranged marriage is different to forced marriage. The way I see it is - it's the same sort of thing as my friend's trying to set me up!

Anyways - things have started rolling now. My Amma being the non social butterfly and not knowing anybody (the benefits being no one can gossip back to her about my antics, the drawbacks being what will follow!) has resorted to some crazy tactics about letting the world know that she has a single eligible daughter ready to be carted off. I'm too scared now to answer the house phone for fear of talking to somebody who's the parent of a potential groom, she keeps pestering my siblings to open up a profile for me on all matrimonial sites from here to Timbuktu and last but not least she has advertised in the matrimonial column of a Tamil newspaper! Stop laughing - it's really not funny!

And recently, my siblings have had to set up an email account for her to deal with the influx (OK - who am I kidding?! The few!) emails. My siblings were telling me about a potential boy they'd found. My mum had been conversing with his parents and they seemed to like each other. Photos were exchanged. This is the scary part. Not being the most confident of people - I am surprised if someone finds me attractive. Yeah, I get by but not amongst my own if that makes sense.

Having not had the Internet for a few days, I didn't the picture of the groom until yesterday. (Let me quickly tell you another story kind of related. My parents had previously tried this about three years ago. And the description of the photo of the guy as my siblings put it: "He looks like a professor!". There is nothing wrong with that at all but being faced with that statement and that photo (he had a tweed jacket on with elbow pads) in your early 20s kinda makes you say no. I'm not shallow but he wasn't my type!)
I kept asking my siblings if he was better or worse than the professor (who had become our reference point it seemed!) and they wouldn't comment.
Opening the photo, I was met with a LARGE guy. Now I'm not stick thin (if only!) but this guy was large. My initial reaction was "He's large. Tall and nice enough looking but large" (Obviously in my head). I could feel my siblings watching my as I took in the photo.
"So?" says my sister.
"So?" says I.
"What are you going to do?" asks my brother.
"I'll talk to him and see what he's like" I reply.

And in slow motion I see my brother turn around and face me with his jaw wide open and ask "WHAT?!". He didn't seem to be able to believe that I'd even said that!! And so I clarified for him again.
To which he replied "Just tell them you're not interested. Amma and Appa have already decided anyways!".
I'm still trying to get them to at least let me talk to him - what do I have to lose?!

And that is how it's going so far!

Hope

I've had five days without the internet. At a time when all was crucial in SL and I needed to get my dose of my regular blogs and news feeds - I was screwed. But it's not so bad. I've managed to have a quick catch up.

And so it's the end of the war. And everyone is harping on about a united SL and equal rights for everyone in SL and the fall of the LTTE. And this is good news. It really is. There is nothing I want more than to be able to visit the home of my parents and grandparents and know that I am welcome there. That I won't be seen as a member of the Tamil Diaspora highly generalised as a supporter of the LTTE.

I have always loved visiting SL. Though there has never been a time when I could just book a flight and not think about the implications of travelling there. "Can I visit Jaffna?", "Will it be safe?", "What will happen if I'm stopped by the police?" amongst so many others. Now that time is over.

Obviously I have doubts. For a government who claimed that the leader of the LTTE was shot, than have his body so badly burnt in an escaping ambulance that was blown up so that it was unidentifiable to then being shot again - seriously?! Maybe with your eagerness to show the world was over, you have shot yourselves in the foot of your own accord!

It will be a long time before the wounds heal. And definitely not without leaving scars but I have so much hope for the future of SL. That's all one can have.

Hot or Not?!

Which adjective do you best prefer to describe aesthetics?

I was having (clearly a deep and meaningful!) conversation with a friend (male) last night about the female population and looks and then progressed onto the male population and looks.

Ladies: Do you prefer being called hot/sexy/beautiful/pretty or any other adjective that describes your looks favourably?

Gents, your turn: Hot/handsome/sexy/rugged/beautiful or whatever else suits your fancy?

I only ask because he said that hot girls are girls that you can't take home to meet your mother (think Kim Kardashian) and beautiful/pretty girls are the ones you can (Jessica Alba was the example we used)!

So basically the hot girls are the "dirty" girls?! Or are they......?!

Signals

You know when you write/text/type :) on the end of your messages when what you really want to write is "x" and denote that you fancy the socks off that person and wish that they could get their arse into gear so that you can both start flirting with each other?

No you don't know? Oh, must just be me then! :-P

Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality!

And we all know who gave it to him....

I couldn't help but post this which I received as a forward! :)

An Individual Diaspora View

This is just the way I feel and constructive comments/criticism welcome. Apologies in advance for any offence that I may cause. *

I am who I am. I know that I have not had to live through what those directly in Sri Lanka have had to and continue to do so daily.

I’ve read various different articles/comments/blog posts that label the Tamil Diaspora (TD) as supporters of “terrorists”. Though I know that people are aware that the whole of the TD are not like that, it doesn't change the stigma or some of the sweeping statements.

RD questions whether you can want Tamil Eelam without being a terrorist. Personally – I think so. Not so much Tamil Eelam but a desire to have somewhere that you can call home without the threat of being victimised. You don’t have to support the “terrorists” in order to have a feeling of being safe.

I’ve always supported the cause. The cause (for me) being equal rights for Tamils. Not just for those living in the comforts of the South but for all Tamils on the Island. I don’t believe that it is fair to ask for a separate state in the fashion that it is being asked for. How are they any better than the government that they claim discriminates against them? Isn’t that what they themselves are doing? And I’ve never supported the methods.

I’ve been attending the protests at Parliament Square. Not to support the LTTE but nor to label them as terrorists. I can only condemn all those who are involved in the killing of those that are pawns in this long term civil war.

I know the chants. Changing everyday. I know which ones I chant to. The ones about saving the innocent civilians. Though the voices are not as strong as when the chants are proclaiming who their leader is. Standing defiantly as these chants ring loudly around the square. It infuriates me. How can you expect to be taken seriously when you are waving flags and cheering for those who are not respected (maybe respect isn’t the best word to use) by the world?

He’s certainly not my leader. How can someone who proclaims to want the best for the Tamil people let so many innocent civilian lives be slain in vain? I don’t think the government is any better. Believe me – I’m not advocating for either side. By supporting either – are you just supporting the lesser of two evils?

Before these protests that have been taking over the entire place, what was being done to highlight the plight of these civilians? Were there as many stories roaming around the internet or were they being swept under the carpet? Can you be so sure that despite many of the protestors supporting the Tamil Tigers, without them, the plight of all those caught in the no fire safe zone would have been highlighted to those less fortunate to be in the know? I’ve had to respond to many colleagues/neighbours even friends who’ve asked me why the protests are happening. People who are usually so in tune with civil wars in Rwanda/Sudan/Somalia or that of the situation in the Middle East but who have no clue on what is happening in SL.

But we must remember that history is something that has happened. There has been a time when being Tamil has meant being treated differently. And at that time it was Tamil “terrorist” organisations that shouted the loudest allowing voices to be heard. The majority of the Diaspora left SL when these “terrorist” organisations were at their most influential. They’d left when these organisations were vying for a better future for them. For many members of the Diaspora, these “terrorists” did in fact carry their voices. This is the memory for a lot of them.

Indeed these “terrorist” organisations are not the sole representative for all Tamils but they are the main representative for a majority of Tamils. Sure they may have lost some of their vision along the way and I'm not saying that they aren't guilty of harming the ones they claim so hard to protect either BUT without them and their actions, who would hear the cries of Tamils?


*Disclaimer: There are probably a hell of a lot of contradicting views in this and it's a bit of a haphazard post. I’m not advocating anything apart from the obvious peace and end of war. I just want for all those who are suffering unjustly to be given a solution as soon as possible. Nor am I even halfway clued up to write about the situation. But this is just something that I wanted to share despite not being sure whether to publish or not. Oh well. :)

The Simple Things

It was a long weekend here this weekend. Don't you just love it when you get an extra day of laying in for no apparent reason?!

I feel asleep on the sofa late Sunday afternoon (clearly doing nothing exhausts me!). I could hear my siblings chattering in the background - making fun of me for falling asleep in 10 minutes (it's a talent of mine!). Clearly not a deep sleep but it was so nice to just close my eyes.

I remember my parents "Awww" ing over me. Me mumbling something about my feet being cold and my father covering me with the sleeping bag.

I remember my mum telling me to go and sleep in my bed. She always worries that I'll get some crick in my neck that I'll never get rid off making it even harder for her to marry me off (well she never said that but you know...!)!

And I remember my sister kissing me on my cheek repetitively and encouraging my brother to do it as well. Both of them laughing at my semi state of consciousness and kissing either cheek. I think they were willing me to wake up in a bid to entertain them.

It is the very simple things that make me smile and as I sit here and type; I can't help but do just that.

Happy Monday People! :)

No More Drama

No I'm not doing a karaoke version of Mary J. Blige but I'm slightly worried about the future of the blogosphere and it's inhabitants. People are disappearing at an alarming rate and it seems as though no one has anything remotely interesting to talk about (not that I'm one that to talk!).

Where are the poems dedicated to heartache and anguish?

Where are the lame as well as commendable attempts of being funny?

Where are undying declarations of love?

And where are the mind numbing posts that just make people smile or laugh?

Bandwagon

I really need to jump on the Twitter one!

But it seems so complicated! All this tweeting and following and other stuff. Why does anyone care? Can't you just change your FB status to what you want to tweet?

God - I'm showing my age!

No Warmth....

You'd have to live under a rock to know what's not happening on the SL blogosphere right now!

Where has all the warmth gone?!

Clearly rules of blogging etiquette have been broken.

A sad day when this situation is what it has come to.

*Disclaimer* - I don't really want to be "outted" so apologies in advance if I offend anyone or haven't mentioned anyone specifically! :S

A Published Writer!

Today is a proud day in my life! Because I wrote an article for a newspaper here. Well, not so much an article but more of a column. I didn't expect them to publish it but they did! Imagine my excitement when they replied saying they were considering it for publication followed by emails of showing it to their editor followed by confirmation that it would be in today's paper?!

I'm well excited! But it's a really lame piece of writing now that I've re-read it for the 1679th time!

If any of you remember this, guess who got a call last week with an offer of all the photos (all 60 odd of them) for a mere £100?!

Yep - they called and said that they were "clearing their database so would like to offer Miss Scrumpy an opportunity to purchase them (before they disappear into the world forever!)".

Now this sounded too good to be true so I asked them to call back and discussed with B and a colleague - M. Apparently it was too good a chance to miss but M said to make sure I haggle and try and get the price down. I'm not very good at all this bargaining stuff. If you charge me something that sounds reasonable; I won't question it and will buy it there and then (yeah, I'm easy - we've already had this conversation!). When the "sales consultant" called back I told him that I can only afford £70 and thus I didn't want the CD. Cue him putting me on hold for a few seconds to "discuss with his manager" and leave me thinking "WTF is going on?!". He came back 30 seconds later saying he'd "do that for me today". "Oh, why thank you. I'm so grateful" I gushed back - NOT! So in the end between me and B - we only had to pay £35 - result. And they are now on FB in all their pride and glory!

I'm only gutted I didn't go in at least a tenner lower if I'd known it'd be that easy!!!

Spare A Thought....

Dear SL Blogosphere,

Compared to many of you - I am a newbie (in my humble opinion) and not a very goodie. Due to time constraints, I don't read as many blogs as I used to or even my regular visited blogs as often as I'd like to. Hell - I barely get time to comment!

But can you please spare a thought to the non Sinhala speaking readers and offer an English translation to the funny/pivotal points in your posts?

If I ask for too much, I apologise in advance.

Kind regards,

Scrumpy.

Confirmation

It's confirmed. I don't have the jaw strength or stamina to do things that involve jaw action!*

Why?! Because I got tired trying to eat my (albeit very crunchy) cereal this morning!

Seriously - it was soooo tiring!




*Great other half I'd make!

Update

It's been a fair busy week or so and as someone told me (Yes, that was you Tylor!), it's not a proper blog unless you do it everyday. Well, my life just isn't that interesting enough I'm afraid!

Following on from this, the funeral took place last Wednesday. Words can not begin to describe how horrible it was. Open casket ceremony at the house before the crematorium. And he looked so peaceful. The speeches from his infinite number of cousins were heartbreaking to listen to. Especially as they had all once been so close and it seems he shut them out without reason. And to listen to my friend be brutally honest about how he hadn't spoken to his brother - nothing will ever lessen his guilt. :(

Other than that - I've been busy with parties, protests and various other shit mostly emotional! More drama for another post.

I will be back properly soon.

On a brighter note though: my colleague today was asked out by an 81 year old man (who has prostate cancer)! All of a sudden - this doesn't seem so bad!

Oh - and how much did I miss with RD n NB?! It was like a Tamil drama serial that I had too much to catch up on!

Not The April Fool

Shitty start to the month.

What do you do when one of your best mate's lil' brother commits suicide?

There are no words. No amount of consoling. An infinite amount of grief.

19 years old and all he wanted was some love.

Prostate Cancer & Behaviour I'm Good At!

I've never really spoken about my job because I really don't have anything interesting to say. That's not changed today but it needs to be mentioned so I can tell you about the behaviour I'm good at!

I work within clinical research. Currently I work with Phase III Cancer trials. I've never had much to do with Cancer and a lot of it has been learning on the job. Currently I deal with the Prostate portfolio. This means that I get to interact with more men than I probably should and am probably going to be scarred for life hearing some of their stories but if it helps make their lives that lil' bit better - what's a lil' scarring right?!

March is Prostate Cancer (PC) awareness month and in a bid to raise awareness, my colleague R (who I babysat for) organised a PC awareness day in a bid to give people the chance to attend whether they be patients, carers or other research staff - anyone who wanted to know a bit more basically.

So we managed to get a town hall to donate a room for free and get a few organisations to come down to help raise awareness. Me and a room full of men? And so the floozy like behaviour commenced! PC is common in certain ethnicities and I tend to attract more attention from these ethnic groups than others so I was made to "circle" the room and hand out some info. Cue one guy from certain ethnicity (OGFCE) cornering me as I walked out in the corridor
OGFCE: So you work here huh?
Me: Yeah...
OGFCE: So what do you do?
Me: *tries to explain in a nutshell*
OGFCE: Would I be eligible for that kinda treatment?
Me: Well, do you have PC?
OGFCE: No....
Me: *Thinking WTF?!* Oh, well what you should do is go and see the doctor and get a PSA test done. PC is really quite common in your ethnicity and it's better to be safe than sorry.
OGFCE: So.. what do you do in your spare time?
Me: *being the polite girl that I am* You know - normal stuff... *explain my fantastic range of hobbies!*
OGFCE: Oh right - I organise gigs and stuff. You should come along.
Me: Cool. Well I'll try. Thanks.
OGFCE: Have you got a boyfriend?
Me: *A resounding yes because I did not want to get into a situation. Bear in mind he was exactly 20 years older than me!*
OGFCE: Oh, that's a shame. Not for him but for me. I was going to ask for your number but it wouldn't be appropriate would it?
Me: Aww - that's kind but no it wouldn't. But make sure you get checked out for PC and let me know about your gigs. *Cue Scrumpy desperately trying to get away*
OGFCE: Well, take my number anyways.
Me: Sure

And I wrote it down and everything! WHY and HOW do I get myself into these situations?!

But I did use my floozy like behaviour to get people to come in off the street and helped raise awareness of PC so I'm not a complete floozy - just a partial one!

In All of Our Twelve Years....

Nothing like this has happened to us and yet yesterday it kinda did.

Someone tried to break into our house yesterday! :-( Thankfully they didn't actually manage to get in so nothing was taken but it still feels like rubbish.

And on top of that - the police must have sent the dustiest police officer ever! He was in such a rush to get away that he didn't even bother looking at the house. When I asked him if wanted to see if anyone had tried to enter through the back, he said "Oh yeah, I guess I should have a look around."!

WTF?! Seriously?!

So far today has been spent calling the insurance people, waiting for forensics and trying to sort out all the other bloody admin stuff.

We were thinking about moving before but this incident has definitely accelerated the process.

From One Legend to Another

RD is the SL blogosphere's legend. Well, it's between him and a few others but I'm pretty sure that RD is one of the oldest and not just in physical chronology but also virtual chronology.

But enough about him!

I am soooooooooo fucked off right now! Seriously! So fucking pissed off that I want to cry.

Michael Jackson announced he's playing his last ever UK tour. So the fucking promoters decided they were going to do some pre-sale shit where if you registered early, they would send you a code and you would be able to buy tickets earlier than those released for general sale. I might not be MJ's biggest fan, but he is one of the greatest all time legends of my era and seeing him live would be amazing I'm sure. Off I went and registered. 07:00 Wednesday morning, I logged on to the shitty website that is selling these tickets (they are fucking shit!) and it fucking crashed! I couldn't even get on it. Hence I couldn't get any tickets!

So I waited for general release this morning. I was on the PC and ready to go at 06:40! This is the time I usually get up to get ready for work but I was already dressed - knowing that I'd be there for a while.

07:00 - I searched for tickets again and I was put in a queue "Your wait time is 15 minutes or more". OK - well at least I'm in a queue I thought to myself. 35 minutes later and it still says the fucking same thing. I really should have left for work by this point but hey, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity so I stayed.

Just as I was about to give up, the message changed - " Your wait time is now 10 minutes". Ooooooh, progress I thought to myself. So I hung around whilst the 10 minutes took 20 minutes to count down and finally, like the heavens had opened up, I saw this message: "Your wait time is less than one minute" Wooo hooo!

And 3 minutes later: "There are no tickets that match your search. There may be tickets for other dates that do. Search again."

WHAT THE FUCK?! You kept me fucking waiting for nearly an hour and fifteen minutes to tell me there weren't any tickets?! And it wasn't just me that was searching. A and B were searching as well. And we all flopped!

AND the thing that FUCKS me off the most is the fact that nearly the whole world and his fucking dog (out of our social circle) have got fucking tickets and we don't!

So if anyone knows anybody who knows anybody who could hook a girl up?! There is nothing short I won't do (including selling people) to get some tickets!