Long Weekends - Time to Think

I love it when we get a public holiday. Unfortunately, we're not as lucky as some to have Poya days every month!

Reading 69's post made me reminisce about sex (and how long it has been since I've had any!).

I was 19 when I first had sex. I'd met this guy (S) through a friend and we got to know each other over 6 months before I came to the conclusion that maybe I could trust him and that he wouldn't break my heart. I was young and naïve and clearly overwhelmed that somebody could be interested in me!

It's difficult to determine at which point a couple go from "getting to knowing each other" to actually "becoming a couple". I mean, when I was younger (more so than I already am!), it was simple. A simple "will you go out with me?" would suffice and you'd either become one half of the newest couple in your circle of friends or you'd have a bruised ego for a while.

So, I don't know at which point we exactly became a couple but we did. I'd heard all the stories and read all the teenage girly magazines that said you shouldn't be pressured into having sex, that you should wait until you're really ready and all that other "advice".

I remember it so well. Maybe because it was my first relationship. My first real boyfriend. Someone who wanted to be with me because of who I am - not what I could give them or how quickly they could get into my pants! The honeymoon period - where whatever you say doesn't fall on deaf ears, where kissing is still not underrated, where holding hands is appreciated because any kind of body contact still manages to send your libido into overdrive(!) and where those late night phone calls can last until the early hours of the morning. Even when you sleep for only 3 hours and they're still the first person you call!

We'd been together officially for about a month before I decided that I wanted to sleep with him. I think that I already knew I wanted to, but the logistics of it all (when, where and ultimately how?!) were what had me a lil' worried.
A few weeks later, it was his birthday and so we decided to spend the night together. He never pressured me into anything which is why I think I felt all the more comfortable. I'm not going to sit here and type all the details of it. There isn't any need for it. But I remember it so well. And I remember how he made me a cup of tea when we woke up and how he looked after me. How he made me feel - wanted, desired, loved, safe and so much more!

We were together for 2 years officially and about 3 years on and off after that and unofficially. We stopped talking about two months ago and it's a lot tougher than I thought it would be - especially when I have time to think about things like the above!