I was doing so well. Moving on with stuff. Even getting my life into gear perhaps.
I accepted what I'd known for months - I hate my job. And rather than suffer (and believe me, it's a slow and painful suffering!), I became very pro active and started looking and applying for new jobs. I had an interview and several rejections. Which I didn't take too badly. Why? Because I decided that if I hadn't found a new job by December (which is only 3 months away), that I would go travelling for 3 months or so. Where? Central/South America. I think my desire to travel and do my own thing is becoming quite overwhelming so I need to get it out of my system. Especially since the 'rents are telling to me go and get married. Sometimes, I wish it would be easier if they just found me someone!
It's easier said than done as well. I mean - I'm not high maintenance and in a city where the population is about 8 million, how can I not find a tall, handsome man?! I was doing so well as well - I haven't spoken to S for about 6 weeks (big deal for us!) and I thought I was getting over my crush but after Saturday night, it seems as though all I did was try and bury my feelings. It's not like he's a great catch but he's fun. The best thing about a night out is getting food afterwards. And that's what we did - and we chatted for about 3 hours. I've missed him. We hadn't spoken like this for a while and it made me see why I did/do (I'm just as confused as you are!) have feelings for him.
I thought all was lost. I mean, I'd been doing so well. But I saw him yesterday as well and I realised why I am trying to get him out of my system - because he's an asshole! And asshole behaviour is not attractive - despite men thinking that most women fall for the asshole bad boy types!
Don't get me wrong - I appreciate what I've got - an amazing family, some of the bestest friends, a job (even if it is shit!) that pays and more. But sometimes I want the companionship that's offered from a relationship. Is that too much to ask?
From Absurdities to Atrocities, Again?
1 day ago
8 comments:
hmmm... now i like the idea of travelling! you should do it...hope your not sacrificial virgin material though. if you are, then i suggest you stay away from pyramid shaped structures ;p
go traveling, go traveling!! that sounds more interesting than a new job, and we can all live vicariously through the pics :D good luck with the hunt though.
I think I'm in the same boat when it comes to 'someone'... sigh
so yea, I too had N's question in mind... what's the reason you call him an asshole? besides, no one's perfect you know..
if u really have feeling and the guts to try it out... why not give it a try?
Good luck hope you get the job that you like.You should also go travelling, Central and south america sounds great. I am sure u will have a blast.
If he is an ass do not give another chance, trust me its never worth it.
i so wish i can get that much of travelling done.... ;-)
on the other hand.. define assole?
The Whackster: I could be sacrificial virgin material...
PP: It's looking more and more likely!
N: Because he takes advantabge of my good nature and I've seen how he treats other women first hand!
LD: That's the thing - I don't have the guts. yes I am gutless but I think in time, I'll get over it!
Santhoshi: Thank you!
~ lo$t $oul ~: Define asshole? Words could never do it justice! :)
Came across your blog today, and was just randomly reading your old posts. Thought I should comment on this because it's exactly the same question I was asking myself just a few hours ago. Was missing being in a relationship, and wondering whether it makes me desperate to want to be in one! :-)
A friend of mine keeps telling me that I am too dependent on relationships and that I rely on it to complete me.
Idk if that's true but what she doesn't get is that sometimes the world is a lonely place and sometimes, it's just nice to have that one other to fill your lonely little bubble.
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