I Am Who I Am

I am Tamil and proud.

I am British and proud.

I am Sri Lankan and proud.

I am a girl trying to right the wrongs of the world.

I am the girl who is over her crush.

I am the friend that takes all your shit.

I am the daughter of an alcoholic.

I am the girl who is far too emotional for her own good.

I am the girl that wouldn't change the above statement for anything.

I am the girl that dreams of giving everything up to travel but is scared of not having a regular income.

I am the girl that will not be broken by your continuous put downs.

I am the girl who will catch you if you fall.

I am the true love that you let get away.

I am the avid cloud watcher.

I am the sister that will support you in everything.

I am my own representative.

I am who I am because of everyone. © See the Orange Rock Corps ad!

I decided to write this post because I saw a link on another blog that basically linked to here with the link titled as "The Tamil Community in London". I did leave a comment saying that I think it's unfair that the blog author feels the need to tar all Tamils with the same brush. I am part of the Tamil community in London and these Tamils in no way represent me so how is it "THE" Tamil community in London? It's a small few individuals. Obviously the comment didn't stay up but it is their blog and they are entitled to write and publish whatever they want (as am I).

Giving In

The things with the new guy didn't work out. Oh well. What is meant to be will be I guess. I can't say that it's not disappointing because he was tall and nice enough looking and we did get on quite well. But maybe arranged marriages aren't for me! In all honestly, I'm not even that beat up about it. You know the whole, if you fall off the horse (or is bike?!), you get back on and ride it kinda thing!

That's not where I'm giving in though. I have a hot hot neighbour (C). Seriously, he's so hot(it's clearly been far too long!). He's tall, dark and handsome. So tall - like 6'0! Since I've moved to this street, he's been one of the few people who's actually taken the time out to talk to me. He's actually my friendliest neighbour! At first, I thought it was neighbourly banter. Neighbourly banter turned to harmless flirting. And now harmless flirting has led him to asking me out. You know that whole "You don't shit on your own doorstep" (man, I am full of clichés today!), so I said maybe another time. And that was about a year ago. And yet, still C hasn't given up. That's not my only reason though.

C is of a different ethnicity. And I have always been more skewed towards the idea of engaging in a relationship with someone of the same ethnicity. Purely because I love my culture and my language and I want to share that with someone who'll get it (another post altogether!). So I never ever really considered it. But C is determined I think. So much so that every time I see him, we flirt (I'm good at that!) and he always asks when I'm going to let him take me out and I've always politely declined.

Recently, I've been thinking to myself - maybe I'm asking for too much to find someone who shares my culture and language to love me?! Seriously, if it hasn't worked out so far; well, then maybe I should see what else is on offer?

And this is where I gave in. He asked to take me out so I said yes. I think he was so shocked, he actually didn't believe me! We went to the cinema last night. Did I mention that he's hot?!

I drove. He told me I looked nice and that I smelt good. Brownie points for C (I'm so easily pleased!). He paid for the tickets (I did offer) so I bought the food. We saw Pineapple Express. He was attentive. Listened to what I had to say in the car. He held my hand and didn't try anything (which I take as being gentlemanly!). Gave me his jacket when I mentioned I was cold (hot!) On the drive home, we spoke about religion and our beliefs. Arriving home, we sat in the car just talking about random rubbish.
He was the perfect gentleman and gave me a very beautiful hug as we parted company.

The only thing is now - he knows where I live if it all flops!

Oui/Si/Yes

I'm going away again. Nowhere new but still another trip.

I'm off to New York in December for 6 days with my siblings. Taking advantage of the BA sale - that's me! You got to get it where you can right?

I love New York. It's one of my most favourite places that I've been to. I know it's a big city that multicultural which doesn't make it all that dissimilar to London but there are differences. The fact that I can step onto the street at 4:00 and still find yellow cabs buzzing all around, it's the home of Friends and Ugly Betty, the sights - The Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty and Ground Zero to name but a few and last but by no means least - the accents!

I am a sucker for nice accents. A few that do it for me (and believe me they do!):

• New York(an)
• Chicago(an)
• Toronto(an)
• French - oh dear Lord!
• Spanish
• Welsh

Couple any of these with a tall, dark(or fair), handsome man with manners and a beautiful voice - well I'm pretty much smitten!

Know anyone like that?

I'm So Easy!

Yeah, that's right. I said it - I'm easy.

I give too easily.

I give in too easily.

I give up too easily.

What's wrong with me? Why can't I be more aloof? More stubborn perhaps?

Why do I wear my heart on my sleeve? That makes it prone to getting hurt so much quicker and so easier.

Why do I trust so easily?

Why do I see the best in everyone? Why must they prove to me otherwise and make me question my judgement?

Why am I so easily pleased?

Am I settling? In life? With friends? With love?

Why must people mess with my feelings?

I know I'm easy - I've already said it. But you shouldn't take advantage of that. Not as my family, my friend or even my lover.

Does it? Can it? Could it?

Work that is?

"You're beautiful."

"You can't say things like that - you've only seen some photos!"

"But you talk beautiful and you sound beautiful."

Arranged marriages - do they? Can they? Could they?

Not A Witty Title For A Post But Meh - Who Cares?!

I'm leaving work soon so quickly:

• I got a new job - yay!
• I partied hard on the weekend.
• I danced in the rain yesterday with my siblings.
• As a result of the above, I now have a cold (but so worth it!).
• I think I've met someone new and you know when all those texts and phone calls leave you with a massive smile on your face - yeah, I have one of those!
• I'm thankful for my friends - for caring.
• I have nothing interesting to write about!