With A Side Dish of Sex Please?

There's been a little bit of debate whether mentioning the word "sex" in your title increases the number of hits that your blog receives here, here and here (read the comments as well!).
As Mr Selvarajah says sex definitely sells but what about all those people who clearly were hoping for something that little bit juicy? You know - some erotic tales. I mean, how disappointed would they be? But then I realised that many of these blogs that I've been reading are from those who are of Sri Lankan origin. Now I know a fair few of Sri Lankan people and I can firmly say that we're not exactly the most prudish of people but are we ready to discuss sex so openly on the Lankan blogosphere?

So, with the illusion that I'm still anonymous, let's talk about sex (but I'm not going to recall my experiences - I'm still a lady!)!

I haven't had sex for a long time! I'm one of these people that truly believe that you can only have sex (make love) with someone that you have some kinda serious feelings for. For example - your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, hubby, long term partner (I really don't like using the word partner but in times of everyone wanting to be PC, I might as well!) or friends with benefits.
For a long time, S was my friend with benefits and boooooy, were they good benefits! It worked because there was no awkwardness between us. We parted officially on relatively good terms, and it seemed inevitable that we would end up in bed together whenever we were in each other's company. And because it wasn't frequent, it was good.

And the act doesn't have to be physical in order for it to constitute as sex. With all the advances in technology - I'm sure more than most have had cyber sex, phone sex or even text sex!

In reference to the title - we should learn to talk about sex. It shouldn't be at the forefront nor the pin point of every conversation but kinda like a side plate - something that we can pick upon if we choose to in order to quench our hunger!

Standing Back

I have to say that school kids annoy the hell outta me! I'm actually quite a tolerant person but do they seriously think they are THAT cool?!

Example - I was waiting for the bus this morning, minding my own business like I usually do and listening away to my iPod. There must have been about 8 school kids waiting at the bus stop as well. They each can't have been more than 14 years old. Now we've had some stormy weather and blustery winds here in the UK which means that there have been huge puddles forming and winds making people fall about all over the place!

So the group of 14 year old girls decided to focus all their morning energy on a large puddle at the bus stop by wading through it which promptly resulted in cries of "Oh no, my socks are wet!". Well WTF did you expect?! You just walked through a mass of water, don't they f***ing teach you anything at school?! Even at home perhaps?!

The group of three boys were being loud and raucous and in general annoying the s**t outta me! But they noticed a fellow school mate whose hair probably looked something like some crazy ass person's because the wind had played havoc with it. Rather than just letting it going and minding their own business, they decided to ridicule him, make comments like "You don't wash your hair!" and tried to take photos of him in his windswept state on their mobiles to "show to the whole school".

I know school kids will be school kids but to me this is just a form of bullying and I'm sad to say that I didn't say anything. I don't condone bullying in any form and I've seriously thought about going to the kid's school and just exposing that stupid mofo who tried to take the picture! If that wasn't bad enough, when they got off the bus, they decided to have a bit of a scuffle. I guess boys will be boys!

On a happier note, I helped a toddler down the stairs ysterday. She held my hand and said thank you! Melted my heart!

No Means No

So why can't I just say it?! I don't know why this word doesn't become me. I am the ultimate pushover! For example, I had a banging headache last night (BANGING!) but I'd made plans to go out with some friends for dinner (I use the term dinner loosely) but I thought, yeah, I can deal with that for a little while. Off we went and in the middle of it, one of them suggests that we should see a movie as well. Nothing too out of the ordinary but I'm one of these people who love my sleep. More so on weekdays when I know I have to get up and go to work the following morning so I knew that if we saw a movie after eating, we wouldn't get home until well after midnight. Despite my brain saying no no no, the words that left my mouth were "Sure, why not?". WHY?! Would it have been that hard for me to say "You know what guys, I don't really feel like it tonight." What's the worst that could have happened? They could have told me I'm lame or that I sucked but that's nothing I haven't heard before! It's not the first time I've done this either. I do it regularly. I try to accommodate everyone and everything. There are really not enough hours in the day for me to do this all the time.
Luckily, we ate faaaar too much and by the time we'd finished chatting and laughing, we'd missed the film (Yay!), and I made it home at a reasonable hour.

So now I've made a decision that if I don't want to do it, then I damn well am not going to do it!





Well, I say this now.....

And Still Counting...

Yes I'm still counting. It's been 6 weeks nearly since S and I have stopped talking. We were together officially for 2 years and then we did the whole unofficial thing on and off for about 4 years. Don't ask me why I didn't stop it as soon as we officially ended it. It would have saved me a whole lot of hassle and heart ache.

The last lie was also the last straw so I haven't called, text or emailed him. In fact, I think I'm finally getting the closure that I needed.

The only thing is now I'm starting to miss him. He was, for a very long time, my best friend.The first person I would confide in, share with and laugh with. The first phone call in my time of need regardless of the hour, the one with whom I shared all my hopes, dreams and ambitions. I miss having someone to share that with. My imminent birthday will be the first of 8 years that I haven't had him in my life for so that whole nostalgic feeling is making me feel like shit.

I don't hate him. In fact, I feel sorry for him more so than anything else. The fact that he felt the need to lie to me (again) saddens me. And over such a trivial thing too. Especially after I'd made it clear that the best thing for both of us was to move on. It saddens me because it seems as though he wasn't mature enough to deal with it.

What has amazed me the most though, is how nonchalant I feel about it. And I'm impressed with myself because if any had told me I'd be like this at the beginning of the year - I would have disagreed completely; determined with the though that S and I were meant to be!

Time is definitely a healer!

Total Darkness

I have a crush.

Totally unattainable as I'm so not his type. He wants that typical slim, petite, fair domestic Goddess that has been built up by Asian society to be the epitome of how Asian women should be!
I'm dark - not so much but by Sri Lankan definitions I am.

I am sick and tired of how you have to be fair to be pretty in our society! Why is that? Having more melanin apparently makes you that much more unattractive! Can you imagine how being told on a regular basis (basically at LEAST 4 times a month) that "If only God had blessed you with being fair - then you'd be even more beautiful."? Gee thanks!! Way to boost a girl's confidence! Maybe I should just throw this back at them. Maybe I'm this colour because God wants me to be healthy more than anything else! Have you ever thought about that?!
As a teenager, it used to bother me a great deal. So much so that I hated looking at myself in the mirror. Like maybe I had a very mild form of BDD but as I got older, I saw the nicer things I had to offer - I'm alright looking, being dark should not hinder the fact that I have a nice personality (I'm modest too!), I'm a gooood dancer, I'm smart and a lot of fun to be around! Ok, so maybe clutching at straws but I immersed myself in the life that I wanted, not that what had been dictated to me. I surrounded myself with good friends and one of the reasons I'm confident in my own shell now is due to B, my best friend (more about her later) and S - my ex. It restored my faith in human compassion and kindness - that people can be loved for who they and not for what they look like!

What pisses me off even more is I've seen some girls out there who are fair and they're not ugly but they are so plain and similar as the next fair girl but I've seen dark girls who are beautiful and people just can't see it. I guess it takes a "Darkie" to know a fellow beautiful one!

Impending Doom!

Tomorrow is St Valentine's day. Totally over hyped and commercial and yet I know I'll still succumb and end up buying a card, sending some over priced roses and generally feeling like shit when I don't receive nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

It's not usually that bad - the last couple of years I've had someone send me a card at least. This year. I'm totally single and I have the biggest crush known and I'm pretty sure I'm passed the age of crushes. Should I tell him is what's been pretty much running through my mind since the weekend. Should I? If so, should I send him a card/flowers/signed/unsigned. I should probably tell him just to get it out of my system but then I'm stuck in that good ol' moral dilemma of whether we'd lose our friendship! What to do? (Rhetorical!)

We've known each other for about 10 months now maybe and we've even been on holiday together (amongst a group of friends!) and we have fun. I don't think physically I'm his type which is fair enough but I'm not a minger! I mean, I can get by so why all this fussing and completely belittling and making fun of me everytime he sees me? Playground tactics? Is the only reason he hasn't pulled my pigtails yet and run off blushing to hide behind the nearest shed due to the fact that I don't wear pigtails?! Maybe I should and see what he does. I think he already knows as well. I don't think I've been too subtle about it!

Oh well, I'll just have to live with it and rack up my phone bill by texting people replies to all their "Happy Valentine's Day" crappy texts!

I'm going to make you love me

I went to see Dancing in the Streets recently. I love the Motown era - my knowledge of it isn't up to much but I can't dispute my love for the songs, the artists and the feeling that they create.
The show was amazing! The crowd were quite reserved for the first 40 minutes or so but then they totally got into the groove - not so much dancing in the streets as to dancing in the aisles!

What's your favourite Motown medley?