Do they exist?! Few and far between perhaps!
What is it that makes Sri Lankans of my parent's generation just not be able to offer compliments? They just don't get it do they?!
It seems as though the only thing that people are willing to comment on are your weight or your complexion.
Just went to Canada - obviously. Relatives who haven't seen me for 10 years or so: "Oh, wow! You have lost so much weight!" Yep, it sure is nice to see you too! Forgive me, but how humongous did you think I was?! Or how huge do you remember me being when I was just a little teenager? How much puppy fat was there?!
Take for example returning home. My dad (as lovely as he is) - "You've gone so dark! And put on weight! What were they feeding you out there?!" And there we have the best possible combination - weight and complexion. Yes Appa, it's nice to see you too. I really did miss you and you're never going to see the bottle that I brought back from Duty Free for you!
The best I've heard though is when I visited Sri Lanka - my aunt introduced me and told her friend (so not even a relative of mine!) that I was from England and he proceeded to say "But how, she is the same complexion as us! Surely she should be fairer?!"
I didn't know whether to punch him in the face or punch him in the face!
You can comment on anything - tell me my hair looks nice, or that you like my outfit or that I have a wicked smile!
Why is it most don't have any tact?!
Monday 30 June 2008
Tactful Sri Lankans!
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7 comments:
This is a subject that has been on my mind.
A few days ago, I had a family member comment on how fat I looked in a photo, while I was left with a 'well, gee thanks, I like that outfit too'
Growing up outside of Sri Lanka, I'm still quite sensitive as to when family comment on looks so bluntly.
What's ironic is that most of the time, the people who make tactless comments actually can't afford to talk. I have an uncle who used to unfailingly tell me how much weight I've put on and he himself is fat as fuck. So one fine day I smiled sweetly and retorted (politely of course) that he is also not the thinnest person in the room. That shut him up nicely :)
p.s- you ARE who I think you are, right?
I agree with Sach.. nothing like giving them a dose of their own medicine. If they cannot handle their tact (or lack thereof), and will be downright rude to you, why should you go out of your way to be nice?!
ah.. people will never change men.... either give it back politely... or just listen and forget they ever said it...
people always a problem with my complexion and weight too... ahh.. what the hell....
they can just talk and talk and do nothing.. if they were perfect,then it's alright... alas, they forget to look at their own self first!!
Gah.
I have a cousin who's a raging fundamentalist who I try not to see very often. Every time I do, he's usually slouched on a sofa, looks me over, and says:
"Machang, you've put on weight."
A slight variation on the theme the last time I saw him, sauntering down the street.
"You seem to have lost a bit of weight."
A punch in the face is the least he deserves.
I always get the "have you grown taller?" thing. It's not really a crappy thing to hear but the sheer absurdity is exasperating.
Anon: I know how you feel!
Sach: Lol - With not so close rels - I tell it how it is. My close rels can say it and get away with it because I know that they know I'll get back at them when the time is good and ready!
And it depends on who you think I am? ;-)
Isheeta: I do try but i guess I'm really lame at doing that!
LD: Exactly - the apple never falls far from the tree or some saying like that!
TLF: Seriously - it's like make your mind up people!
Spectral: Absurd because you're either really tall or really short?
At least it's not derogative! :)
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