My Very Own Tamil Movie Moment Gone Wrong!

You know how they say that girls dream of fairytale endings? You know, how we watch too much Disney movies and rom-coms and want to believe that our prince Charming is out there and our love story will be one of those like an all time classic? Well I’m not one of them. Sure, I believe in true love and truly want to believe that my Prince Charming is out there but past experiences lead me to be believe that this is unlikely. Besides, I’ve always envisaged my life as a bit of a Tamil film. Boy and girl meet. Fall in love. Parents don’t agree. Boy beats up potential father in law. Potential father in law sets right all his wrong and accepts boy with open arms . I’ve never understood these by the way but they make entertaining viewing.

Last Sunday it was time for my “fantasy” to become a “reality”.

Amma received the details of some boy (SB). SB’s mum was here and she spoke to my mum and they swapped charts and it was agreed that me and SB would get to know each other. This was about 10 days ago. Sunday morning, my amma pulls back my duvet and tells me that “they” are coming to see me. “Who?” I ask pulling back the duvet over my head and closing my eyes in the hope she’d leave me alone! “SB and co” she replies. WTF? Why do they want to see me for? What?! And I was induced into panicking – HARD!

“Ponnu Paarkurathu” (Bride viewing in English), was not something I'd really anticipated. At all. What to wear? How to style my hair? And having never having done this, my only reference being Tamil films!

I didn’t want to be there. I ended up wearing a shalwar kameez, left my hair in its curly ringlets and waited. Their arrival was sounded by the doorbell and I waited in the dining room. SB’s mum, sister and brother in law had come. No SB – erm... OK... Surely this was a two way thing – I should get to see him as well right? I waited and waited and thought that I would get away with not having to see them when my aunt called me. And it was awful. I felt like such a cliché, looking at the floor as I walked in. And this is not because I was going for the demure and shy look (because I’m hardly that am I?!)! but purely because I didn’t know where else to look - I didn't want to make eye contact with any of them. And then my mum said “Oh, you can look up”. So I did and they spoke about me as if I wasn’t there. I stayed for about 7 minutes before I said “OK – I’m going back next door now” and ran like an elephant walked like an angel out of the door.

And then about 10 minutes later, they left. With photos of me. Saying that they liked me. Well, jolly good for you! SB called me later that night. Said he’d seen my photos and would like to meet me. Can he come to my house this weekend?! MY HOUSE?! Can’t we meet in a coffee shop like our other modern day peers?! I said OK – because I know that that’s what my amma would want me to do.

I’ve had two conversations with SB since then. We have nothing in common. He doesn’t go out. He doesn’t like girls to go out after a certain time. Our first conversation ended like this:

SB: “Can I ask you a question?”
Scrumps: “Of course”
SB: “What would you do if I told you weren’t allowed out somewhere that you wanted to go to?”
Scrumps: *cough* *splutter* “I think my mum’s calling me. Can I call you back later?”

And now I have to call him tonight (coz he called me last night) and I have to meet him on Sunday.

What a load of bollocks!