Another One

I started another blog today. One that I can write without telling anybody. Password protect even. Because sometimes, you need to write just to cleanse the soul.

ETA: I'm not deserting this one - I just need somewhere else to write certain things...

Too Much?

For me, this blog offers an outlet. Blogging allows me to express myself.


But reading back on some of my posts - I wonder if I should have wrote what I did. Cathartic as it is, it only seems to remind me of how I felt. Opening up old wounds. Reminding me of how things were. Questioning how things could have been.


Am I doing the right thing by putting it all out here? Or should I have not wrote anything at all? Could it be that if there's no evidence of it, then the memories will be easier to forget?

More importantly - do I want to forget?

The Worst Part

You were in my dream last night. Or it could have been the early hours of this morning.

You were lying next to me in bed and we were facing each other.

Telling me that it was going to be OK. That we were going to be OK.

And I, like the fool that I am, believed you.

But the worst part? The worst part was waking up and knowing that that's not how it goes.

Section 2

My friend has been committed under Section 2 of the Metal Health Act.

Should we (as the people in her life) have been able to see this happening? Erratic emails put down to work stress. FB status updates that made no sense but not in an incoherent way.

When I found out I cried. Because I am at a loss. It's a helpless situation at the moment.

She’s so young.

And none of us know what to do. :(

Unfoolish

If you Google the lyrics to Ashanti's "Unfoolish" - you'll see I'm in a good place today.

I've copied and pasted the first verse and the chorus just to give you an idea of how I am:

I think I found my strength to finally get up and leave

No more broken heart for me

No more tellin' your lies to me

I'm lookin' like I got my head on right so now I see

No more givin' you everythin'

There's no more takin' my love from me

See my days are cold without you

But I'm hurting while I'm with you

And though my heart can't take no more,I can't keep running back to you

See my days are cold without you

But I'm hurting while I'm with you

And though my heart can't take no more,

I won't keep running back to you

You know the tears have finally stopped. Not completely but at least they've stopped being continuous. To be fair, I've been busy - I haven't thought about him as much. That closure call really helped. I miss him. Not as a better half but as my best friend.

But - friendships are always being lost and gained. So hopefully there's other things in store.

Raising A Smile

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-11137903

For Darwin, Pseudo and any other geeks!