A Picture Over Words

Image courtesy of ponandzi.com

Amma-isms

I have road rage. It's a proven fact.

Yesterday - the whole of my area was gridlocked because of some damn traffic lights that haven't been working now for 4 days! Seriously - why do I pay council tax if you guys can't fix things?!

I was in a rush to get to the hardware store to buy some more paint so that I could paint the skirting board before the carpet gets fitted (this morning!). So you can imagine that my patience was at an all time low.

As I indicated to turn left, the car behind refused to give way (some posh sports car that was very big!). Cue me getting irate.

I try not to swear when Amma is in the car but yesterday I couldn't help myself.

"Oh you f***ing w***er! I hope you can f***ing lip read you motherf***er! With your big ass car!" And I continued effing and blinding for about 5 minutes (thoroughly pissed off!).

About 10 minutes later, I must have been talking about some other man and my Amma who pays no attention to me (clearly!) goes " Who? That wonka?!" and points to the car who refused to give way earlier!

Cheered me up no end.

How Young

I don’t write about my sister much. In fact, I always group my siblings together and my brother gets mentioned more so than she does. The only reason is because he does more than she does.

My sister is a quiet soul. She’s calm and she doesn’t share too much. She’s a bit different to both me and my brother and would probably rather stay in as opposed to a night out (I’m the opposite most of the time).

My brother is in Canada at the moment with my dad. A holiday of convenience to get my dad out of the way so that we can redecorate our living room (and that saga will follow later!). It’s been tough – my sister and I definitely not cut out for manual labour! We’ve managed to strip the walls of wallpaper, get the plastering sorted (someone else did this!) and start painting.

Yesterday as me and my sister were painting, she opened up to me. I remember when she was 16, I found out she had a boyfriend. I went mad. Seriously. The role of the bigger sister has not shone as brightly as did that day. 16 is too young right? And he was 3 years older than her. It just wasn’t the done thing. I remember there were tantrums. My brother knew about it kinda. My parents were completely confused as to why none of us were talking to each other. I remember telling her that she I wouldn’t accept it. I remember her telling me that she’d always choose her family over him. And that she was sorry. There’d be nothing more about this “relationship”. He – a family friend who I’ve known just as long as my sister – someone whom to this day, I love dearly. So what was the problem? I really do believe she was too young.

Fast forward 8 years. They are still in each other’s lives. In fact – he is as much of our family as could be. But they have never pursued where they left off. Mainly because our family has so many issues with him. But now, my sister has grown up. Today is her 24th birthday. My beautiful baby sister. And whilst we were painting yesterday she spoke of how she feels about him. How he feels about her and what path she could take. The fact that we can share such things over such random activities brings smiles and tears – happy emotional tears.

And to me, that is what makes what we have special.

To my beautiful baby sister – Happy Birthday my fatty!

x

HELP!

I know this is mega late but I have only just realised how I should have utilised this blog!

B's hen night is tomorrow and I've got the majority share of organising stuff. To be fair though - everyone has really helped out and it looks like it will be carnage a great weekend.


However, I need some dares/challenges/forfeits. I've got a few but need more. Can I have some suggestions please? Not too extreme but a lil'!

Some ideas (to give you something to compare yours to!):

· Persuade a stranger to buy you a drink
· Get the phone number of a man whose name begins with a vowel
· Every time you hear a Lady Gaga song, you have to do 10 seconds of the running man (I’ll put some Lady Gaga songs on my phone!)
· Approach a stranger of either sex and pretend that you’ve known them for years.
· Sing Chesney Hawke’s “I am the one and only” in a bar
· Get a bald guy to give you a hug
· Get a picture of you and a guy with a tattoo
· Stand outside a shop window looking in and perform 5 star jumps.
· Act out which animal you’d like to be if you were reincarnated
· Gargle the wedding march
· Find three names and numbers for new volunteers to be in the bridal party
· Approach someone else's table and offer to belly dance for them

Thank you! (in advance!)

Pregnant or Fat?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8730106.stm

I love this article. And totally agree with the last sentence. Many a time I've umm-ed and ahh-ed about offering people my seat. So much so that sometimes, I just sit and pretend I'm doing something on my phone just to avoid eye contact! :

Placards

I’m going to start carrying some around with me in the car so I can just pick them up and hold them up against the window as I drive past a car.

“You are HOT!”

“DAMN!”

“Learn to EFFING drive!”

“Why are you hogging the fast lane?!”

“Your car is sooooo nice!”

I saw a beautiful guy this morning in a beautiful car who I did a lil’ bit of rearview mirror flirting smiling with.

Yeah, the sun is out and it’s definitely bringing out the floozy in me.