To Be 16 Again

I was tagged by our favourite Jack following the most recent tag to hit the blogosphere: A letter to your sweet 16.

Dearest Fudge (lame ass nickname that I will discuss below!)

Firstly – your life is not over because your parents are not letting you go on the water sports trip to Spain. You won’t “hate them forever” and you’ll find out that it wasn’t as good as the one that you went on when you were 14 (clearly because you weren’t there!).

Now just because your high school crush has decided to give you the nickname “Fudge”, it is NOT cool! Try to move away from that identity. Talking of your crush, yes, he is beautiful and yes he will be the first guy you take home to meet your parents. And he will have exemplary behaviour when he meets your dad but it won’t work out. After all, you’re 16 and you both move on.

Keep studying. I know at the moment it seems like people are taking advantage of you being one of the few that completes their homework but it will pay off. You will earn the label of being a “cool geek” (and yes, such a thing is possible!) – be proud. There are not many people who could pull it off like you can. Don’t regret not taking history and think carefully about your A-Level choices. Chemistry is a given and maths is something you grow to love but biology?! Definitely reconsider that option. But if you don’t do it, you miss out on the field trip with the hottest Tamil boy you will probably ever come to meet! Try not to let your hormones rule your head! (What am I am saying?! You’re 16; your hormones will definitely rule your head!)

Your parents will decide that you need to move house. Don’t fret about losing your friends. You stay at the same school and keep your friends. Talking of friends – there will be a whole lot of drama that you need to deal with. Your role of playing the agony aunt; the confidant; remains the same up until the point at which I write this letter to you. You will go through teenage abortions (Don’t freak out – not yourself personally!), student – teacher trysts amongst other illegal issues you swear yourself to secrecy.

The move will open your eyes to all things Sri Lankan. You will move to a part of London where there are considerably more Tamils than where you currently live. And yes, random Tamil guys will try and follow you home but walking faster does not help you avoid them!
Think twice before beeping that horn at that cute Tamil guy. He’s only after one thing and you’re not going to give it to him. And he’ll only make your life hell once you reject him.

You may think that the age gap between your siblings and you will cause you all to never understand each other but you will see in time that they become your biggest support and helping hands. Your parents surprisingly become a lot more understanding. Lie to your parents about clubbing. What they don't know won't hurt them. You'll be surprised at how good you get at this!

When you’re taking that driving test – do not speed up in the left hand lane – you aren’t “supposed” to overtake on the left and it takes a lot to convince the driving examiner that that’s not what you were doing!

Don’t think you’re not beautiful. You may not have the interest that your peers may have from boys but believe me it’s for the best. You will meet that special somebody and he will (at the time) be a cut above the rest and you will be glad you waited. Not just for the relationship but also for the sex! The sex. Phew. Thank yourself that you didn’t have sex at 16. No way were you mature enough to handle the emotional-ness (yes that’s a word) that comes with doing “it”! And that special somebody will make you feel so unbelievably special whilst doing “it” that you are thankful that you didn’t succumb to all those who attempted to get into your panties!

Take the job at the bookies – no matter how daunting it might sound. It will help you learn to love yourself and your new found confidence changes who you will become. Flirt to your heart's content – you will know where to draw the line.

You will lose the tom-boy of who you are and despite not becoming the essence of femininity, you learn to use what you have to your advantage (the flirting once again) and become super emotional. Don’t hide that. Make use of your boobs. Flashing a lil' bit of that cleavage leaves a lot to the imagination and gets you served at the bar a lot quicker!

Travel. Travel as much as you can afford to. Your first trip away with the girls introduces you to B. She will become a rock in your life. Never be afraid to try out new things and make sure you do the sky dive! You'll know what I mean!

And last but by no means least, wear your heart on your sleeve and smile. Whatever happens makes you who you are.

With all my love
Lloyd (your new and much cooler nickname!)
x

P.S. Start a blog! It will become a part of your life that you will grow to treasure!

Apologies for the length - clearly I had a lot to tell myself at 16!

I hereby tag Santhoshi and Pseudo. And whoever else wants to do it (sorry RD - had to change the rules slightly!).
ETA: And tagging Angel! :)