I like photography.
I like Tamil Wedding Photography.
I am a saddo.
And today having Googled Tamil Wedding Photography, I have seen S and his fiancee in their engagement photos.
And there is the second of my seven. Glutton for punishment.
My lunch was today:
I thought I’d do start doing this (well I’d do it today and see how it goes from there!) and I’m doing it on Wednesday so I am late (almost fashionably but not quite) as always! I’ll probably pick up on the 30 Days challenges in about 6 months!
1. If you could watch only one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be? Remember the Titans – because against all adversity, it shows us that there is good in the world. And we can change something if we believe in it enough.
2. Let’s say someone wrote a screenplay about you; what actor/actress would you choose to play you and why? I'm going to say Anne Hathaway though I don't have a reason for it!
3. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in theaters? Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves – And I remember the AP turning up wasted halfway through. Good times!
4. Did you ever make out at the back of a movie theater in middle school/high school? Not in middle or high school but first year of uni. “Make out” is a bit of an understatement…..
5. Are you a Netflix-er, Blockbuster-er or a Redbox-er? (Or none of the above?) For legal reasons – none of the above.
6. Name one actor/actress who you would give anything to have a dinner date with. Ian Somerholder. Do I need a reason? Enough said.
7. What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen? Oh God. So many but one that sticks out in my mind over the last couple of years is Be Kind, Rewind. It was just a pointless film if you ask me.
8. Do you sneak snacks into the theater when you go? Always! Snacks are overpriced at the cinema. You pay extortionate prices to see a film and then have to pay even more extortionate prices to eat that junk?! No thank you.
9. Movie theater popcorn: love or hate it? Love it!
10. What is the all-time best Disney movie in your opinion? Sleeping Beauty. I love the three fairy godmothers!
I love my friends – B, A, R, RL, SS and all the other random initials you might have seen on here.
I went out on Friday night without them though. Because I know that when we are out, we stick together. We have our own jokes, our own terminology for things, our own little quirks and I am comfortable around them. Friday night was definitely outside of my comfort zone. Invited out for a birthday party of a boy I didn’t know by a girl who I’ve only recently met is not ideal - social butterfly or not!
But I went because as much as I love my friends, they are at different stages to me and trying to talk to them about how I feel makes me scared. Afraid that they’ll judge me. Thinking that I should have moved on by now.
I met a girl. Someone whom I’ve seen around at other parties. We share mutual friends and have said hello to each other more than once but we’ve never had an actual conversation. But Friday night, I was able to share my fears of loneliness, dating sites, marriage and the future because she is in the exact same boat as me. And it happened so easily. We spoke about our pasts and I mentioned the ex because even though it’s been a while, there is still some pain. My physical insecurities are so rarely voiced in public – in fact not at all. I don’t share with anyone how I feel about myself but with her I did. Not because I want her to become my lifelong friend. But because it felt good to be able to share that with someone who I don’t know. Someone who I don’t care if she’ll judge me or not.
I don’t feel comfortable enough to do that with the usual lot. Not because they wouldn’t support me but because they’d know me at my most vulnerable. And I’m not sure if I want them to see that side of me.
I’m not sure if I want anyone to see that side of me. The side that actually cares. The side that is so lonely that it’s sometimes in despair. The side that matters.
It has been 9 months since you told me. And about 7 since I last spoke to you. Things are supposed to get easier with time they say and they have - definitely. But lately I've been missing you. Not in a "love of my life kind of way". But in a "you were my best friend" kind of way. Not being able to share what my latest favourite song is. Not being able to share how I feel about the death of the FBI's most wanted. And it's the littlest thing that trigger me off. Seeing the same car that you drive.
The fact that I am at such a different stage in my life than to that of my nearest and dearest friends.
I know I shouldn't be feeling like this. But I can't talk to anyone about it. None of them will understand. And it saddens me. Because despite the smile I put on to the outside world, inside I'm crumbling.
No not a new film.#
25 days annual leave a year is just not enough. :(
14 - 18 July: Amsterdam to see Take That perform!
02 - 24 September: Sydney, Australia via Kuala Lumpar, Malaysia (4 nights).
Total number of days taken: 20. :( And that's not even thinking about all the ad hoc holidays I'll need!
(I've already started scoping out where the best places to party are but all suggestions are welcome!)
