The Outcome

Well, RL didn't go to away for the weekend but that was probably due to circumstance rather than choice?

The weekend was pretty uneventful. I spent most of Saturday in bed, reading my book and listening to the rain against my window - how days off should be spent!
SS provisionally asked me to go out drinking in order to cheer themselves up so I said yes. By Saturday afternoon I hadn't heard anything so organised something with RL but then SS called to confirm our drinks - Eeeeek! Being caught between them sucks! So I called up RL and cancelled (and felt crap).

Sunday, I volunteered to help out at the British Tamils NW London Athletics qualifiers. So what with not having enough sleep, the clocks also going forward and thus me losing an hour of my sleep, I dragged myself out of bed at a God forsaken hour.
Once there, I was appointed my initial role which was basically registering the participants. They'd set up the registration stall on the grass - real smart because after 15 minutes or so, my trainers were covered in mud and I had mud all around the bottom of my jeans... It all looked like it was going to flop considerably until a bunch of cute guys came and asked me to register them. Cue me trying not make any mistakes in a bid to appear competent. Thankfully, my friend was there to help me out as well. Whilst I was registering, I managed to engage myself in some witty banter - the cute guys laughed, smiled at me and generally were very pleasant. Excellent Scrumpy, you didn't do too bad a job at making an impression!

After the registration, I was appointed tasks on the field. Excellent! I get to see the cute guys in action. All is not lost! At one point I was standing there, when one of the cute guys, walks past and says hello, asks me how I am and keeps looking back as he walks away! I swooned slightly. I know it probably means nothing but it's been a long time since I've seen a hot guy!

This wasn't the highlight of the athletics meet though. For me, it was the under 10 year olds calling me "Miss" and me demonstrating how to participate in the egg and spoon race! So much fun!

What would you do....

I recently came back from a group holiday and one of the ways that we kept ourselves occupied on the flight/coach journeys was playing "what would you do...?". Basically this just involves one person asking another what would they do when presented with a certain scenario - e.g. "What would you do if you caught your father cross dressing?". Or other random questions like "What would you do if you were faced with the choice of being bald or having a complete head of grey hair (that you can't dye - you must make the stipulations!) and you're only 17?" (you can see that we're simple minds who are easily amused!).

But what about when the real life scenarios hit? What would you do?

Easter weekend presented me with a WWYD. Two of my best friends (RL and SS) recently decided to go their separate ways from their relationship. They'd been together for a long time and I'd like to say that it was a clean break up but there was a third party involved even though nobody cheated (physically).

It's difficult as they're both good friends of mine and I told them that I think their friends may struggle to cope more so then they will! However, I was out with RL at the weekend and the third party was also there. IMO, I felt as though they were getting a lil' too close for comfort - I mean come on, you've only just broken up with SS, can we not give it a minute before you step on his grave?
Also, not everyone knows about the break up, so in behaving like this, it's reflecting badly on them right?
So my WWYD, was what the f**k do I do?! I decided to have a chat with RL - tell them that they way that they were behaving was not cool, that they should have a bit of tact because they and SS have so many mutual friends in common! And you know what they said? They don't want to be with the third party but can't help acting like their other half. I'm sorry - WTF?! If you don't want to be with them, then don't behave like that. It's quite simple. Distance yourself from them, don't spend every waking moment talking to them. Those kinda actions definitely don't make things easier do they?
I told RL this - as a friend I think that they needed to hear it, hear that I don't think they were doing themselves any favours. And they had the audacity to throw it back in my face - that I should have been there for them? I'm sorry, haven't I been? Have I not been calling you every other day to talk to you, to listen to you, to hear you try and justify that what you're doing is right?

Anyways, whilst I was out this weekend, I overheard someone ask the third party if they would be attending a certain event this weekend. Apparently they can't because they're going to be elsewhere in the country. I didn't think anything of it, but I asked RL if they was going to attend this event, and they said no because they would be in the same area as the third party! RL didn't go any further but should I ask with whom they're going? What if they lie to me? Do I mention any of this to SS?

Am I being too critical? Isn't life supposed to be easier than this?

Broodiness begins!

I think I'm officially getting broody! YIKES!

Pleasant babies have always made me smile - I think it's something to do with smiles being infectious. However, I see pleasant babies now and I can't help but smile, be wistful and think to myself "I want one!".

For example - the girl who held my hand as I walked down the stairs. She was beautiful - :-)

This morning on the bus, there were two twin boys. One of them passed by this lady and said "Excuse me" (they can't have been more than 6). Their mother asked did you say "Excuse me"? To which he replied "Yes". She then asked if he said thank you, to which he replied "No", and then promptly turned around to the lady and said "thank you" with the cutest toothless grin I have ever seen!

There are moments that I sometimes see which truly melt my heart. Things that probably make most of the other commuters think "She's a crazy one!". I have a soft spot for young siblings travelling together. The best is when I see an older sibling (about 12 or so), carrying their younger sibling's bag and making sure that they hold their hand when cross the road or get on the bus. In general just looking out for their general welfare. It always makes me smile.

Does that make me sad?

The Invitation - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain!

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.


© Mountaindreaming, from the book The Invitation published by HarperSanFrancisco, 1999. All rights reserved.

With A Side Dish of Sex Please?

There's been a little bit of debate whether mentioning the word "sex" in your title increases the number of hits that your blog receives here, here and here (read the comments as well!).
As Mr Selvarajah says sex definitely sells but what about all those people who clearly were hoping for something that little bit juicy? You know - some erotic tales. I mean, how disappointed would they be? But then I realised that many of these blogs that I've been reading are from those who are of Sri Lankan origin. Now I know a fair few of Sri Lankan people and I can firmly say that we're not exactly the most prudish of people but are we ready to discuss sex so openly on the Lankan blogosphere?

So, with the illusion that I'm still anonymous, let's talk about sex (but I'm not going to recall my experiences - I'm still a lady!)!

I haven't had sex for a long time! I'm one of these people that truly believe that you can only have sex (make love) with someone that you have some kinda serious feelings for. For example - your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, hubby, long term partner (I really don't like using the word partner but in times of everyone wanting to be PC, I might as well!) or friends with benefits.
For a long time, S was my friend with benefits and boooooy, were they good benefits! It worked because there was no awkwardness between us. We parted officially on relatively good terms, and it seemed inevitable that we would end up in bed together whenever we were in each other's company. And because it wasn't frequent, it was good.

And the act doesn't have to be physical in order for it to constitute as sex. With all the advances in technology - I'm sure more than most have had cyber sex, phone sex or even text sex!

In reference to the title - we should learn to talk about sex. It shouldn't be at the forefront nor the pin point of every conversation but kinda like a side plate - something that we can pick upon if we choose to in order to quench our hunger!

Standing Back

I have to say that school kids annoy the hell outta me! I'm actually quite a tolerant person but do they seriously think they are THAT cool?!

Example - I was waiting for the bus this morning, minding my own business like I usually do and listening away to my iPod. There must have been about 8 school kids waiting at the bus stop as well. They each can't have been more than 14 years old. Now we've had some stormy weather and blustery winds here in the UK which means that there have been huge puddles forming and winds making people fall about all over the place!

So the group of 14 year old girls decided to focus all their morning energy on a large puddle at the bus stop by wading through it which promptly resulted in cries of "Oh no, my socks are wet!". Well WTF did you expect?! You just walked through a mass of water, don't they f***ing teach you anything at school?! Even at home perhaps?!

The group of three boys were being loud and raucous and in general annoying the s**t outta me! But they noticed a fellow school mate whose hair probably looked something like some crazy ass person's because the wind had played havoc with it. Rather than just letting it going and minding their own business, they decided to ridicule him, make comments like "You don't wash your hair!" and tried to take photos of him in his windswept state on their mobiles to "show to the whole school".

I know school kids will be school kids but to me this is just a form of bullying and I'm sad to say that I didn't say anything. I don't condone bullying in any form and I've seriously thought about going to the kid's school and just exposing that stupid mofo who tried to take the picture! If that wasn't bad enough, when they got off the bus, they decided to have a bit of a scuffle. I guess boys will be boys!

On a happier note, I helped a toddler down the stairs ysterday. She held my hand and said thank you! Melted my heart!

No Means No

So why can't I just say it?! I don't know why this word doesn't become me. I am the ultimate pushover! For example, I had a banging headache last night (BANGING!) but I'd made plans to go out with some friends for dinner (I use the term dinner loosely) but I thought, yeah, I can deal with that for a little while. Off we went and in the middle of it, one of them suggests that we should see a movie as well. Nothing too out of the ordinary but I'm one of these people who love my sleep. More so on weekdays when I know I have to get up and go to work the following morning so I knew that if we saw a movie after eating, we wouldn't get home until well after midnight. Despite my brain saying no no no, the words that left my mouth were "Sure, why not?". WHY?! Would it have been that hard for me to say "You know what guys, I don't really feel like it tonight." What's the worst that could have happened? They could have told me I'm lame or that I sucked but that's nothing I haven't heard before! It's not the first time I've done this either. I do it regularly. I try to accommodate everyone and everything. There are really not enough hours in the day for me to do this all the time.
Luckily, we ate faaaar too much and by the time we'd finished chatting and laughing, we'd missed the film (Yay!), and I made it home at a reasonable hour.

So now I've made a decision that if I don't want to do it, then I damn well am not going to do it!





Well, I say this now.....